Got Oxygen?

From day one, I was the patient that pretty much did everything they were told not to do. I gave my doctors almost more anxiety than I have, because I was so rebellious. However, I love my primary doctors, they are always very truthful with me, and I know when to be serious and actually listen. A good doctor is very hard to find. The doctor that finally listened, did my first heart cath, and diagnosed me was not a good doctor. I will always be grateful, he is great in the operating room, but he will not listen to you. He will tell you the worst, and hand you a plastic bubble to live in, which is what most have done. “You have maybe two years to live” are some of the first things he had said to me. From there on out it was “you have to be on this medication” “No you cannot do that” “You probably have a blood clot” yada yada yada. After comparing with two other doctors, I got pretty good at being a BS sorter, and fired him. He wanted me to not live a life, but just live under my diagnosis, and in his office with his rules.  While it’s important to listen to your doctors who know your situation, you have to be really good at not putting yourself inside of a medical prison.

I was very unhappy in my hometown; like addicted to Xanax and didn’t want to live anymore unhappy. I knew where I wanted to be, and I already could hear everyone’s opinions. “You won’t be able to breathe!” “You won’t be able to even live!” “The altitude is too high!”  Even then, this is the place that called to me. When I broke the news to my primary PH doctor who I love, I built up my defensive side ready to beg him to see the good side to where I was wanting to move. He said, “When you vacation up there, do you have trouble breathing? Will you have an O2 sat reader with you at all times? How far away are you from a hospital?” After answering all his questions, he said, “If that’s what you want.”  My mouth dropped. My doctor grasps the concept of my mental happiness.

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Yes, I live in 10, 350 feet elevation. No, I am not “barely living”, and yes I do get short of breath here and there. I get altitude headaches, and some days, walking around the town is just enough. But I am absolutely loving it! No, I’m not saying you should go live on the top of a mountain to love your life. What I am saying is that you should be doing what you love, despite what your crappy lungs think. Hazel Grace still flew to Amsterdam with Augustus despite her doctors yelling about it. Do not let your crappy lungs be an anchor within your body.

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Moving here was no more rebellious than what I was doing everyday in my hometown. Five years ago they said I wouldn’t live another two…so I guess I’m just not quite inside the lines of what a PH patient should be in their eyes. I’m very grateful for my doctors, and their support in my new life! Sooo, my loves, if you follow me on Instagram you saw that I am giving away a water bottle (pictured above) from my store! I think it’s perfect for PH patients with the little phrase “Got Oxygen?” on it. Whoever wins this bottle, I don’t want you to think about the risky altitude, but the mountains in your life, the challenges, the new risks to overcome, and of course maybe starting a new life. Plus, it’s really freaking cute. If you want a chance to win this super cute bottle then follow the directions below:

Follow me on Instagram @haleyann92

Follow my store! 🙂 @mainstreetmercantileredriver

Then shoot me a DM on Instagram (or email haley.ann.92@gmail.com) saying you followed both, so I know to look for you!!

I will pick from who follows both, and the winner will be announced Monday July 27!! Have fun lovelies. 🙂 Song of the week is Colour My World by Chicago.

-haley.

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War, and Ebola, and Evil, Oh My!

Oh, this is a season known for such beauty, and in contrast, the fright. It’s not uncommon to be terrorized this time of year, and most people seek out those experiences. However, when the terror leaks into the light and confuses itself with reality, we reach a whole new level of terror that is almost unnerving.

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All I see on my Facebook, and hear around the office is somewhere along the lines of, “the teacher got arrested, this hurricane hit, blood moons, and ebola.” What about that is pleasing? What about that makes my heart happy? “It’s important to be involved in current events.” Except no, it’s really not, not anymore. I think its more important to track history, and be consistent with your learning and perception. But why sit in front of a screen that delivers the most awful things right into your mind? And people ask me why I don’t watch TV…

A few weeks ago, I got super worked up about the end of the world, the blood moons, ebola and just about everything else the news thought they needed to grace my news feed with. Thanks, Facebook peeps. You officially got into my head, and for a whole week I thought endlessly about how fucked up the world is. I barely slept (I was afraid the world might end in my sleep) and I couldn’t think straight. Some people call me a person affected with severe anxiety (which is true), but today when a parent called afraid her child might have ebola, who hasn’t been in contact with anyone, or any country of the sort, it seems I’m not the only one. We share articles on Facebook repeatedly over awful, negative things that are supposedly news and it’s really just self destructive. There is a difference in awareness raising (for example: Blackfish) versus ridiculous negativity. After hours, or days of reading, you evolve to a state of living in fear.

End it, and accept there is nothing you can do. Literally, there is nothing. That blood moon is going to happen whether you got a picture or not, and that group of terrorists is going to kill someone next. That disease will infect who comes in contact with it, and there is literally nothing you can do. Its horrible sounding I know, but its the most freeing thing you will hear despite what you keep reading on news channels, and Facebook. What is the point of bottling up every thought, and action you want to have simply because the world might bite you on the ass? Its scary, but there is no point in living in fear. I guess if I get ebola (which I refuse to capitalize because it’s so horrible) but until or if that ever happens, I’m doing what I can to protect myself and I’m living life without fear. I can’t walk around all day with a rock in my stomach. You should take precautions but fear is never, and should never be one of them, despite what the media wants you to think.

Seriously, stop sprinkling that shit everywhere, and instead spread happiness, kindness, positivity because the world needs a whole lot of it at this point. So, I hope you lovelies enjoy your Halloween week getting scared from awesome things like The Shining, or freaky costumes versus things you have no control over. Enjoy, and live your life.

-haley.