Lose Yourself.

Can I just say that one of my most favorite movies in the world is Don Jon? A lot of you haven’t heard of this because it’s an independently produced film with the fabulous Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Some of you have, saw the preview, or got five minutes in, and turned it off. If you can get past all the porn, and make it to the message of the film it kind of blows your mind.

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I’m pretty much a huge fan of whatever Joseph Gordon-Levitt does mainly because he goes all out. Yea, he’s kind of a jackass, but he genuinely loves his career, and strives to improve it while providing a deeper meaning. He’s not just an actor, he’s truly an artist. Moving on from my Joseph rant – most people would look at Don Jon, and think “this movie is outrageous.” But you see, that is what is so good about this movie to begin with. We like to watch “fluff” films that yes, may entertain and give you warm fuzzies, but films like this to me are so much better because they are realistic with some movie glamour sprinkled on top.

Don Jon deals with the porn addiction that of course everyone deals with. Yes, pretty much every guy watches porn, and soon it becomes hard (no pun intended) to break away from watching it even in relationships. I really don’t care about porn itself. In fact when it comes to the best relationships I’ve ever had, that person and I have always been able to openly discuss porn. It’s great when you can have an open relationship like that with someone. So now, we have two major problems presented. The women who refuse to believe that porn is active in their relationship (despite how well he covers his tracks), and then the porn problem in general.

Lets just openly state that porn in general is unrealistic. None of it from point A to point Z happens that way. Mainly because that isn’t real sex; let’s just face it, it’s fucking. There are no fireworks, no connections, no huge explosions because it’s just an act. Everyone is pretending from the little skits they put on, to the costumes, all the way down to the actual sex. No one is having the best sex of their life, they are literally just using another person for a physical function. There really isn’t even another person there. What makes it even worse is that people get disappointed by actual sex because of their “porn” expectations.

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While porn may seem natural to us these days, what is so unnatural is the fact that we see each other as objects. Just things to ride, and get us to some other destination in life. Women are not women, we’re just “pussy” with a phone number attached sometimes. Guys are just “d” to others as well. Not people with obsessions, culture, passions, fantasies or anything…

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It’s a very unhealthy life we’re living when women are exploited as sexual objects to merely attain, and men are as well (Magic Mike.) It teaches us the break all the “scary stuff” down like emotions, and attachments that really despite all the work are kind of awesome, and teach us to love a person even more. I recently was talking to a guy, and he expressed that we didn’t need to know anything “bad” about each other yet. Like deep emotions, past experiences, and everything else. It blew my mind because liking someone, getting to know someone does not just depend on the good. I love people even more when I know the “bad” parts. It just makes them beautiful despite how much you have to work through it. It makes you love them that much more because you love all of them. If someone doesn’t care to hear everything about you within a decent amount of time then you probably shouldn’t care to stick around.

Stop expecting a fantasy whether it’s in a relationship, or in the bedroom. Instead expect tears of joy, laughter, or sadness. Expect emotional outbursts, fights, or no text. Expect passion, late nights, faults, and innocent kisses. Expect to lose yourself in a person.

Song of the Week is the original Me and Mrs Jones by Billy Paul.

-haley.

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