Today was a horrible day; the kind that makes you feel like a horrible life. I had a friend who committed suicide, and everyone’s (including myself) first reaction was, “Why would anyone ever do that?” I find myself quite frequently thinking after days like this, or just simple conversations with horrible human beings that this is why it would be nice to be dead. Maybe one day he just foresaw these horrible events, or was experiencing them secretly and had enough. I don’t blame him sometimes, which sounds like a “terrible” thing to say. It’s just a human thing actually. Then I snap back into reality and remember the sadness of him being gone, and how suicide is just not an answer. But I really do get the frustration, and hopelessness he might’ve felt.
People…I can honestly say are horrible. We all have a horrible streak in us, and some flow more abundantly in some than others. I am not free of this guilt, but am aware of it. As I look back on today’s unfortunate events I think, “What could I have done? Did I do something?” No. I got attacked, repeatedly. I put myself out like bait, and had teeth sunk into me by a bunch of wild animals.
“What a tacky thing to say!” No, it’s not. Because when you attack someone, that’s basically what you are; an animal. There are people who go about their business, who tend to distribute their patience, kindness, generosity and love to other beings throughout the day. Then there are those who load their imaginary guns with religious rules, their beliefs, opinions, words, theories and whatever else can be used to take someone else down. I’m not trying to openly say they are terrible people, but yea, actually I am. There is so much more to do in this world…so much more that can be uplifting and make a difference.
Give someone a compliment.
Say nothing when you are expected to say everything.
Download a new song.
Talk to someone about the new song.
Watch a movie.
Do anything except attacking someone else, rating someone else, judging someone else, talking about someone else, putting someone else down, hating on them, destroying them, and giving them a reason to turn YOUR imaginary gun on themselves. We wonder why we live in such a generation of hate, anger, destruction, and suicide. Take a long hard look in the mirror of what you have said, or done to another human being. Your actions, and words are powerful. They can uplift, or they can destroy. There is nothing more beautiful, and artistic than to be open-minded, listen and to love people. Seriously.
So thank you to the people who have told me I’m out of shape, reminded me of health issues, put me down, and exhausted me.
-angry and dramatic haley. judge me i guess.