Exit Here.

I’ve had some people contacting me over a subject that seems to scare them in this scary time of year; I am no longer PH centered. I know, its shocking to you, but it’s not to me. I think no longer just focusing on PH has given me a breath of fresh air into other subjects that have consumed my heart.

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You see, I’ve been passionately writing since I was in the fourth grade. I remember the exact day that the lesson “clicked” and this writing thing became easy. I was scoring Fours (four being the highest in Texas) while everyone was struggling to make it halfway down their little notebook pages. My thoughts have flowed onto a paper naturally, and I’ve enjoyed it. I stopped writing around sixteen. I have no idea why, but really I had nothing interesting in my life, in fact I was sleeping most of the day. After I was diagnosed, Pulmonary Hypertension gave me an angry and emotional trigger, and just like a bullet, I fired. All of my thoughts from years of silence flowed out onto this blog. I can’t believe I gained an audience, and I am forever grateful for my PH family, the conference, the wonderful thank you letters, and my award sitting at the front of my room.

My PH writing itch has mostly been scratched. There will always be more to cover as new challenges approach, but I have other things on my mind. I am an activist at heart. I don’t want to be the ugly, screaming activist, but I do believe in justice and broadcasting the truth that people mostly miss. That simple statement has a lot of you upset. Some have contacted me asking why I’m not writing, some of y’all refuse to support and voice your opinions on such, and while I respect that I can’t understand that. I cannot live and breathe PH daily because PH is a disease that does not believe in giving “breaths.” I have nothing against my disease, or my PH lovelies, I just don’t feel a desire anymore. I am currently at peace with my disease, but not other subjects that come to mind. I want this page to be something you can come to reflect on for new articles, or search old PH issues that I might have covered in the past. But lets just get one thing across about Haley Ann; I am not a people pleaser. People pleasing is one of the weakest things others can succumb themselves to. You simply cannot please everyone, so what is the point of trying? Please yourself, and do what is right.

So I hope that with all this being said, you can support the blog after the PH years that hopefully it supported you in. There are stages in a disease process, and all are different just like the patients themselves. I am merely exiting one phase, and transforming into another. Thank you (hopefully) for your understanding.

-haley.

Song of the week is “You Sent me Flying/Cherry” by the lovely Amy Winehouse.

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5 thoughts on “Exit Here.

  1. This resonates with me. I am in a state of upset, transition, acceptance…

    Just said to my husband that I feel like I am losing myself and becoming PH. For me it’s not an invisible disease as I wear it everyday, 24/7, as oxygen. It’s often the topic of discussion around me, and I feel like we PHers are constantly managing meds, side effects, good days, bad days, etc. I have put my story out there to educate and raise awareness, but am learning there is a fine line between sharing and being. As we all do, I mourn my old SELF. And am now at a place that I want to find me inside of this PH. Not sure what that looks like yet, but I am considering what speaks to my and considering my options! Glad you know what speaks to you.

    I say, be you!! I’ll keep reading.

  2. I commend you for this change. Like you I got to a place where this disease no longer consumed my thoughts and life. You accept it. As all with PH know, life is short, do the things that have meaning in your life. Give yourself a reason to push on. I wish you all the best in your new endeavor! Have fun!

  3. I absolutely understand your way of thinking and I love that you are brave enough to say it!! I think it speaks volumes that you can learn to be at peace with your disease and continue doing what you love to do..way to overcome!! You’re a rock star!

  4. I admire you for being at peace with PH. My mom is one year into diagnosis and is still horribly depressed. I followed you because of PH but wont mind reading about other things.

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