Ahhhh, we meet again. I am alive, I don’t know if I’m well, but finally I’m making a brief post. The past few weeks have not been easy. Working fifty plus hours a week, running marketing for a local youth group, and bouncing back from surgery leaves little to no free time or sanity. Thank you to those who were actually patient with me. On top of that I’ve been wrapping up my Lantos project that I did with the Pulmonary Hypertension Association, and now I’m getting ready for conference! I’m definitely excited to meet some of y’all there.
Moving on! Today is national Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness Day. As y’all know, I want you wearing your Haley Ann shirt (if you have one) if not, wear purple! Take a picture and email me, and you could be featured on here or my facebook page. I’ll also be instagraming it up! You can find those two social media sites below.
About a month ago at a doctor’s appointment, I expressed some mental concern to my doctor. My anxiety level is high, and is definitely reflecting in my physical body because my emotions are so high-strung. His reply was very dignified, and he said, “I think you are very stressed, and very in tune with your body, so lets relax and not assume the worst.” His words actually helped, except one small detail. I’m not in tune with my body at all. In fact, I feel as though I’m always fighting it. I want to be free; free from pills, needles, surgeries, check ups, oxygen, and its weird not to be able to do that. It’s weird that your soul is stuck…inside a defective body. I mean, really. For me, its been nothing but a disaster from day one of my existence. I’ve battled bladder, lung, heart, spinal, nerves, skin, and just about anything else. I know a lot of people out there feel this way too, and I’m definitely not special. Two weeks ago I was checked for skin cancer, and all I could think was, “Really? Haven’t I paid my dues?” At some point you just have to throw your hands up, and surrender.I’m not saying surrender to death by any means, but surrender to acceptance. Accept that this body is so fragile, and so beyond flawed despite its miraculous existence. The best thing you can do is step away, slow life down, and make time to care for not only your defective body, but your amazing self. YOU. Not just the body you are trapped in.Pulmonary Hypertension is a big, incurable, full-time disease. I don’t just suffer from it May 5th. I’m a year round, lifetime guaranteed customer of it. Take this one day to support those people who are caught in a trap.
Song of the week! A much needed relaxing tune; So May It Secretly Begin by Pat Metheny