Life With PH, Personal Life

Float On.

Whew, hello week. Have I mentioned how frustrated I’ve been lately, and how I don’t even know what I’m frustrated at? No, it’s not the Superbowl. I hope everyone had a great time because all I was concerned about was the halftime show. Which by the way was beyond fantastic.

Moving on, while talking with friends on Friday (well more like screaming at each other through a cloud of smoke over Bohemian Rhapsody) I explained that I was “floating” through life, and having fun at that. Floating, its such a relaxing little word. There is absolutely no weight to it, and within the eight letters harbors an easy definition. Never have I been so relaxed and satisfied with an answer that I’ve given before, and I didn’t give much thought to it…till now. Everyday I stare into the hopeful eyes of young kids. Their hope somewhat radiates throughout the school, and rattles my bones. They give me a maddening peace, and make me love them even more everyday. I can’t imagine not having one of these crazed, mess creating machines eventually, and the thought of coming down off this cloud to obtain that seems unbearable, yet peaceful. Am I making sense yet? Here I was my whole life thinking that I only belonged firm on the ground, and my mind was completely shut off to any other options. I didn’t care what fun was, or meant, I just wanted to keep walking, and keep focusing. After a while I found myself mentally exhausted, my feet hurt, and I had no idea why I felt so dreadful. And then I realized, this wasn’t the future, and I need to stop trying to make this my future. It’s the present, and I’m lucky enough to have it as it is. It was time to kick off my shoes, relax, and enjoy.


Overall, life is just ridiculous, and at times can be lonely but I don’t care. I’ll know when to come off my cloud, when I’m ready to face the crowd again, but life is just fun for now. You don’t necessarily have to be young, or single to float, but what are you doing exactly? Are you traveling so fast, and so furious, and if so, what for? Just stop, don’t become irresponsible, but enjoy. Float in the moment, savor the moment, and stop pushing life to happen. Stop forcing everything, and stop exhausting yourself to make all the right pieces fit. Relax loves, after all, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”

Check out the song for the week, Float On by Modest Mouse, a perfect song to jump around and scream to in your room. Appropriate, huh?



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