Nothing Is Impossible.

Thank y’all for all the lovely feedback on the T-shirt video. I’m surprised y’all had such positive thoughts on that. Maybe if I do more, I’ll start filming them on my canon instead. Moving on, a lot of people have been contacting me about how they are plagued with idea that they can’t have kids because of PH, then I have people asking why we can’t. This is a subject that means a lot to me because its been heavy on my heart lately, and I beyond love kids. In the words of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella, “And because these daft and dewey-eyed dopes keep building up Impossible Hopes, Impossible?! Things are happening every day!”

THE NEGATIVE

So lets throw it back to the beginning of exactly why we cant have kids. Pulmonary Hypertension is a rare, incurable lung disease that affects the heart as well, and requires life-sustaining treatment 24/7. Pregnancy is hard on a normal person, so could you imagine a pregnant PH patient? It would be very hard to get around, our exhaustion that we already have would double because of the baby, not to mention when the baby starts growing and pushes up into our chest? Also, why our heart is affected by PH? It pumps double the rate a normal persons would to get blood and oxygen through to our body fast enough. When your pregnant, your blood volume increase, therefore giving your heart even more blood to pump. Now you’re at risk for clotting. Don’t forget! You also are not allowed to take your life-sustaining medication because you’re pregnant. The mortality rate for a person that gets pregnant with PH is around 80%. So that’s what can happen to US. Lets talk about the baby…

Bottom line, if mom isn’t healthy will baby really be healthy? Mom walks around with an 85% oxygen saturation (normal is around 97%), so lord knows how much oxygen this child is actually getting. Mom is at risk for blood clots, not active because she’s tired, and Mom can’t take her life-sustaining medication because she’s pregnant with this little person. It’s not little person’s fault at all, but its a difficult situation. There are SO many risks for little person because the mom harboring and growing them is slowly dying. Labor and delivery is another story of stress on the heart as well. Bottom line, pregnancy is a serious serious serious adjustment and problem. Thats awful, because children are not.

Any normal person would say, “Well then birth control for life!” Aha, not so fast young grasshopper. PH patients already have a risk of blood clotting, heart attack, and stroke by itself. Could you imagine ingesting a treatment that would actually double that for us? Yea, not a good idea. So you’re left with crappy condoms that are not 100% which leave you with “BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL.” That sounds fun doesn’t it? I’m not going to even talk abortion because there are so many judgmental people out there that do not truly understand what would happen, but whatever.

THE POSITIVE

So after all this negativity I’ve felt like I’ve pumped you with, here is the actual positive. Yes, you will have to be extra careful your whole life. But I’ve also met people who have PH, and have had their own children AND survived! Miracles do happen, and God can work through us. Religion aside, if that just doesn’t happen, I always turn to surrogacy. It’s a beautiful thing because its your child being grown in someone else’s body. You have to find the right person (I just don’t suggest strangers) and it has to happen the right way. Look into a fertility doctor, and a OBGYN for all that mess, because I just don’t know all the rules. And last but not least, adoption. I work with kids everyday and FALL IN LOVE with them. Seriously, there’s about 5 that I would love to take home and make them mine. Sadly, kidnapping is frowned upon. But if I can love someone else’s kid that incredibly much, I think I’m definitely suited for adopting.

prego

It seems like there is an awful lot of negative, and bottom line there is. It’s all how you look at it. In my opinion, I pray that The one and true God can heal me (I’ve had an almost 100% recovery so far) , and if it’s right that pregnancy will happen one day AND I WILL survive. Until then, I see surrogacy and adoption as a wonderful thing that still overcomes all that negativity. And to the men out there, who judge us patients because we cant birth your children, I’m sorry that you live such a closed minded, heartless and negative life. True love overcomes such horrible obstacles. May your life be filled with its own obstacles (and it will) for judging such a personal one of ours. 🙂 God bless you!!

-haley.

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2 thoughts on “Nothing Is Impossible.

  1. Thanks Haley, This is something we have messaged about before but I love that you did a post about it. I have every hope that I will be a mother someday whether surrogacy, adoption or foster parenting. I am very lucky to also have such a supportive family and friend base who know how important being a Mum is to me. My doctor understands as well and as long as it is safe to do so will do what is in her power to help me too, she has a couple of couples who are going through the process of surrogacy at the moment depending on their health to collect eggs and do ivf. In Australia you can only do Altruistic surrogacy which can make it harder. but the fact that the doctor is on is reassuring. It’s not impossible. I think you need to try and persevere as much as you can to get your dreams even though its a bit harder for us, but that does make us stronger people. I don’t think I will ever be ok about not being able to get pregnant and experience that but just over a year after being diagnosed it’s getting easier to think about and cope with. At the moment I also have a guy in my life that is so supportive and understanding that doesn’t make PH the biggest issue in our relationship which is amazing. I think its so important to surround ourselves with people that are for you and love you, and are just positive and supportive as it is hard to be that way sometimes for ourselves so to have people who can bring you up and understand you and who you are and can just let you cry is great!! Great Post Haley, as always love reading!

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