Calm Thyself.

Don’t you absolutely love those little moments in life where you get so incredibly happy that it almost feels drug induced? Those little moments of Heaven that are perfect, but as soon as our brain processes this amazing feeling it has disappeared in a flash. In my eyes, I consider that an extremely small preview of what Heaven has been promised to us. Of course, that will be ten times better, but still wasn’t that amazing feeling worth fighting for to keep around? For now, I think we can find our little slice of Heaven in things that keep our soul happy, not our body, and not things obligated to us because of our age. Come on people, you know whats right for you. Take care of both your soul, and your body.

I am not getting religious on you, but I have been debating a very tricky question in my head lately. “You’re so young, do it now before you can’t!”, and “You don’t have to do that to be happy, that’s not appropriate!” is what my ears absorb constantly, and let me just say…Its exhausting, and I’m tired of it. I am young, and most people my age are all about going out, getting drunk, hooking up, and what not. Yes, I have gone out, I have had a drink in public (I was of age because that’s the classy thing to do), and I felt just fine. Was I crazy trashed? absolutely not. Were there guys involved? I two stepped with a cowboy. That night was perfectly fine, and for my personal boundaries, I crossed no lines. What am I getting at here? You don’t have to live a crazy life to feel alive.

calm

I ran into this image yesterday, as well as a bracelet (y’all will see later in the week) that overwhelmed me with this message. My life is highly criticized for how “boring” I come off as a twenty-one year old. I understand that I have never acted twenty-one, but when have I ever had the chance to be my age? I’ve been dealing with medical bills, surgeries, insurance agencies, and money since the minute I turned eighteen. I lived a crazy life just balancing that stupidity, and my body? It has its own identity too. My heart has struggled beyond its years to keep pumping, and now thanks to amazing medicine, its reversing its age slowly. Therefore, I am tired, I deal with things that eighty-year-old people are used to. On top of this madness, I grew up a tad different. My mornings consisted of watching “I Dream Of Jeannie”, and while you listened to Hilary Duff,  I listened to bands like “America” and “The Doors.” I’ve always been different, and quite an older soul. So now in my twenties, feeling like I’ve lived twenty lives already, I’m quite tired. Calm sounds fabulous to me.

As a PH patient or anyone with a disease, you don’t have to be crazy. In fact, if your body doesn’t feel that, then why do it? A calm life is still a fabulously happy life. I do go out dancing with my friends, dance with guys that don’t look like serial killers, or have a margarita with friends at a nearby restaurant. I’m indulging in ways that I feel appropriate, and I feel alive. You don’t have to over extend your energy to keep up, or feel obligated to go crazy because “you only have one life!” ENJOY your life, whatever that may be. Yes, I only have one life, and sometimes I will enjoy that having a cup of coffee with my cat, lesson planning for my class, or thinking about how many kids I want.

-haley.

*Don’t forget to enter the Fault In Our Stars Contest! Check out the contest tab for more details!! Check out our song of the week, Afternoon by Pat Metheny.*

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