This Is Your Sign

Ok loves! I’m finally getting down to business. The past couple of days has been about unpacking, getting settled and I completely re-did my room because I added a much-needed desk. πŸ™‚ Woo-hoo! Anyways, just remember Survivor Sunday is coming up like SUNDAY so I need you to submit your stories to haley.ann.92@gmail.com at the chance to be featured AND if you are you get a Just Breathe T-shirt.

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Moving onto serious things, I was reflecting just a bit this past week and came to the conclusion that I don’t think I’ve ever been terrified of this disease until this week. I’ve been battling with my cardiologist that I no longer want to be on coumadin therapy. It’s a pain, its expensive and I’m just flat-out tired of it. My pulmonolgist was fine with this and said to take baby aspirin and so I’m thinking I’m good. My lovely cardiologist calls and wants to speak to me about my decision and while at this appointment, I tell him that I’ve been having severe pain underneath my ribcage, I’m nauseous all the time and it almost feels like chest pain with how much it hurts. He tells me I’m too young for gallbladder problems (HAHAHAHA) and that he thinks I have a blood clot in my lungs. At first, I’m not sure if he’s serious or just trying to scare me into taking my coumadin again. Long story short, my D-Dimer blood work came back positive for a clot but my scan shows I have none! I’m still very scared at the chance of a clot because that has been one of my worst fears with PH.

I was asked this week through email if I’m dealing with anyone that is still in denial with what I have. There are a few people here and there that look at me funny from time to time, but the worst person I deal with is myself. Yep, you read that right. I guess that in a way I finally feel normal for the first time in my life so I tend to shrug this disease off like no big deal. I skip weeks upon weeks of medication at a time, go hiking in the canyon, I don’t wear my oxygen and I vacation in high altitude. However, that last part is never going to change. But yes, I KNOW, I’m terrible. I guess the clot somewhat woke me up that my health is not a “no big deal” type thing and I’m going to have to really work hard to take care of myself so I can just be here in general. So this week I’m trying to make a turn around of working out, eating healthy, taking ALL my pills and just overall trying to get back on track. However, I refuse to go to my cardiologist office to have that done. So yes, I deal with denial but not because I hate all this (well, I kind of do) but because I feel fine so I really thought I was. But don’t worry, that’s all been changing! Time for a new week, a new start and hopefully a new future with NO BLOOD CLOTS! I don’t have time for all that ridiculousness. So just in case you needed a sign to wake up and take care of yourself, HERE IT IS!

-haley.

Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner!

Seriously y’all, I loved looking at these wonderful photo’s, reading about your stories and locations and overall it was just very hard to decide winners. But really, it was. I absolutely loved this! Remember, there will be more contests in the future so keep reading! Below are the winners and I posted everyone’s submissions under a new page at the top titled “Who’s Reading”. THANK Y’ALL THANK Y’ALL THANK Y’ALL

FIRST PLACE

Jenn in Sudbury Ontario! How cool is this? Her hometown is a nickel mining town, so they have this “big nickel.” Great photo and poster girlfriend! Enjoy your three new Just Breathe T-shirts! πŸ™‚

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SECOND PLACE

Brooklyn from Seattle (but on vacation!) Look at this cutie! Wearing her wet suit to protect those tubes (I am proud girly) and enjoying her vacation in the mountains! Her Mom said she was ready to hop in the lake. How cute! What a young and strong PHighter! Enjoy your two new Just Breathe shirts Brooklyn! πŸ™‚

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THIRD PLACE

Jennifer from Hartford Wisconsin on Pike Lake! Seriously, her yard (as well as she) are so beautiful! These are such artistic photos and your sign looks great girl! I loved looking at these so much! Enjoy your new Just Breathe T-shirt! πŸ™‚Β 

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Thank you to all who participated and I hope everyone loved showing off their favorite spots! Y’all are amazing people, PHighters and readers.

-haley.

Follow Haley on Instagram! haleyann92

Submit your PH story to be featured on Survivor Sunday and receive a Just Breathe shirt! Submit your story by August 2nd to haley.ann.92@gmail,com

Last Day!

Hello loves! I’m currently driving back from the mountains (sooo sad) and I’ve just loved seeing all your contest submissions! This is YOUR LAST day to get your photo submitted to me at haley.ann.92@gmail.com I received a lovely submission from Miss Brooklyn yesterday who is battling PH at 6 years old and was diagnosed at 3!! She is taking a quick vacation before she endures a heart cath. What a beautiful girl with an awesome and supporting Mom, Jennica! Thank y’all so much for the submission. Y’all are awesome!! πŸ™‚ Keep PHighting!

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I’m excited to get home and get all this craziness organized. Until then, happy Sunday y’all! A day of REST!

-haley.

Get Busy Y’all

Ok y’all, after a day of shopping and walking around, I have to put my feet up so I can avoid fat ankle fashion!! High altitude is definitely not helping with this swelling! But I decided to participate in my own little contest and show y’all my favorite spot! πŸ™‚ Red River, NM in Tall Pine Resort of course! Isn’t it beautiful?!

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And I got a lovely submission today from Lisa! She just started following the blog and submitted her photo from her brothers boat on lake Lewisville. Thank you so much miss Lisa!! You’re awesome! πŸ™‚

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This is what y’all should be doing! Keep submitting photos and I’ll keep enjoying my mountains.
-haley.

Thankful For Life!

Sooo I am finally in the mountains and loving every crazy second of it. It’s been literally CRAZY getting up here. Doctors thought I had a blood clot and delayed our trip by four hours!! After blood draws, peeing in cups and tests we find out nothing is wrong. So Candice and I hit the road! From almost getting hit by a semi, insanely scary rainstorms, light bulbs busting and bed bugs…we are still alive. And still enjoying the mountains.

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Thank y’all for your contest submissions!! πŸ™‚ You have ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT TO TAKE A PIC AND ENTER!!!! Read the contest tab for more info. Here is Heathers favorite spot in New Jersey! πŸ™‚ Thank you so much Miss Heather for participating!! I love it so much!!

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-haley.

REALLY?! RANT RANT RANT

Sooo, once again I’m here to remind you about the contest. Why? Because I’ve gotten hardly any entries and that’s kind of disappointing. I mean really people…

A lot of you have contacted me wanting to buy the Just Breathe Lung shirts. You absolutely cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot purchase these. Why? Because I received special money to print a lot of these and special money comes with special rules. I can’t generate a profit off of these. So what do I do? I give them away to people who show that they truly want them by participating in contests or I go to schools and I give them away to kids there as well. So this contest is your chance to get a T-shirt(s). I’ve had so many people contact me wanting them, yet so many little participants. So that just doesn’t add up, am I right?

Once again, this is SIMPLE. Go look at the contest (under the CONTEST tab) , make your sign (paper, board WHATEVER) , submit your photo (haley.ann.92@gmail.com) and there ya go! First place gets three shirts, Second gets two, third gets one. Also, I ship to OTHER COUNTRIES so you are in fact eligible if you don’t live in the US. And I have children’s sizes for little ones that you might want to give a shirt.

So, this is a slap on the wrist and I know it sounds tacky and awful…but do not contact me about buying the Just Breathe shirts. You win them or you submit your story for Survivor Sunday (at haley.ann.92@gmail.com) and you earn a shirt. Sound ridiculous? I’m sorry. Love y’all!! I really do and I’m thankful for y’all! πŸ™‚ But this is your chance to get some shirts and y’all aren’t even taking it. My rant is over.

-haley.

P.S. This contest ends in less than a week. Good luck y’all!

Just Keep Moving

mondayOh my, it is definitely Monday. This weekend I slipped into a very dark place and got very emotionally worked up over ridiculous things that don’t deserve my tears or anger. But it happens anyway because I’m one of those human things. A lot of people struggle with depression, anxiety and things like so especially when you’re fighting something that you don’t even know if its worth fighting anymore. See that? That’s your mind playing tricks on you. Its starts to twist, turn and think and before you know it you’ve been blinded with completely false thoughts and you’ve fallen into a very dark place.

It happens to everyone. You’re not insane, troublesome or ridiculous. You’re breaking that’s all and you need to find something that will heal you very very quickly before that dark place becomes your home. I’ve always believed that a still mind, body and hands results in thinking and thinking gets me in trouble. Which is precisely why I’m never home and when I am, I’m creating, cleaning or writing. As you all know, I’ve struggled (and still do) with a type of anxiety and depression that comes and goes. It’s always lurking in the back, and if I don’t put up a pretty good fight, I find myself a mess. For a long time I truly believed that I was not meant to live and that being diagnosed with something this serious was simply an exit sign for me. I was cutting my wrists as a release of frustration and anxiety, I was stopping treatment and having panic attacks all the time. I had never felt more alone, worthless or just overall BLAH in my entire life. I don’t exactly know how I picked up the pieces but It started with therapy, art and writing quite honestly. Writing keeps me sane, so thank you for reading. Last month I definitely relapsed and yesterday had my first actual emotional breakdown/panic attack in a long time! It was just an overwhelming and awful experience to go through all over again and I thought, “I never thought I could ever hit rock bottom again.” Well truth is you can, especially If you haven’t been putting up as strong of a fight lately. I’m gaining weight which puts me back, missing my kids (from the school) and I’ve been hanging out alone at the house lately. Which all combined is a recipe for disaster. I don’t feel bad for myself at all because It’s a monster in which I have created and I need to once again fight. Saturday was my three-year anniversary of having this disease and my celebration plans turned into more of a “sit at home alone and ponder” type night. I wasn’t feeling very happy about living past my expiration date at all. See, there it goes again, those ridiculous thoughts.

Bottom line, I’m changing things this week. Out with the old, in with the everything that makes me happy, including people. People are SO important. You should constantly have your guard up because awful things can always creep back in. If you aren’t ready to fight then you’re going to be attacked, end of story. You should be ready. Surround yourself with people who actually care about you (its hard deciphering who those may be) , do things you love and most of all TALK to someone to get those thoughts out. Lesson learned? You’re never completely free of ridiculous and bad things. They will come back and you best be ready! Why? Because this is life.

-haley.

P.S. Enter the competition, enter your Survivor Sunday story AND check out the most amazing song ever this week, Riverside by America! Absolutely OBSESSED.

One Week!!

One week y’all till the contest is OVER! Get out there, take your pictures and submit them!! I’m ready to see some cool photos. After much thought, I also added a SECOND PLACE (They will win 2 shirts) and a THIRD PLACE (They will win 1 shirt) and of course FIRST PLACE will win the three shirts. Here is an up close picture of what exactly the shirts look like. Why do they have the date on the back? Because that’s when the shirts were created and I wanted to remember the year. You’ll live.

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Yesterday I received an awesome entry from Gjurgica Kjaeva in Gevgelia in R.Macedonia, Europe. HOW COOL IS THAT?! Thank you so much for your awesome submission! πŸ™‚ I love seeing stuff like this and I cant believe my readers are that far out. SO COOL.

Gjurgica Kjaeva

So get out there and get the job done. Remember, we have kid sizes as well for your little ones. Also, Survivors featured on Survivor Sunday will get a complimentary shirt!! If you want the chance for you and your story to be featured, then submit it here haley.ann.92@gmail.com by AUGUST 2nd! Have a lovely week y’all! πŸ™‚

-haley.

Three Years

Oh, this day. It brings back so many memories, somewhat good but most of all just frustrating. From the needles, to the surgery, family and the diagnosis…it was all just a whirlwind of shit. I’m surprised I can still remember it!

oldhaleyHaley – 14 days before diagnosis

About this time I was on an operating table, watching, feeling and listening to doctors run a giant tube down my throat and a cord up my leg. All I knew was that I had a hole in my heart, we needed to see how big the hole was and we needed to measure all the pressures in my heart. At first the idea of being awake during surgery threw me off but when I was actually in there I felt relieved in a way, knowing I would know exactly what was happening to me. Surgery was interesting to say the least. Its kind of thrilling listening to the doctors and watching your heart beat on a screen, but all that went downhill when my doctor shut everything off and said, “Haley there is no hole. We couldn’t find one, the problem is in your lungs.” He needed to speak with another doctor and left the room, as machines were turned off and nurses got me ready for my 6 hour recovery time. I was wheeled back into my hospital room where my doctor was waiting on me and told me that I had an incurable lung disease and we needed to start treatment immediately or I would die within two years.

I wasn’t as much disappointed as I was annoyed. Family came flooding in crying (the doctor had already spoken with them), asking questions and trying to explain things to me before I even had time to process what was said. I just wanted to be alone to sit back and think what had all just happened. I went into this surgery expecting them to put a plug into the “hole” in my heart and within a year I would be functioning at a normal pace. I even got a pair of hot pink running shoes and were saving them for when I was eventually “fixed”. I always wanted to go running and not feel a heart attack coming on! So this news told me that I would never be normal, I would always be unfixable and just a broken pair of lungs.

Well my my my, have things changed! I’m quite literally the definition of fixable because this is the most “normal” I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I feel younger and happier mainly because I can FUNCTION. I’ve definitely moved on from that bad outlook and It hasn’t been the most amazing road in life but I’ve definitely been blessed with an amazing Pulmonary doctor (Dr. Sahad – I love you so much just like a second dad!!) and a great recovery. Thank you to all of you who have supported me and pushed me further. Its been three years so I’ve definitely lived past my expiration date. I don’t even know how I’ve done it. I’m blessed.

meeeeHaley – 3 years after diagnosis

 

-haley.

Follow Haley on Instagram! haleyann92

 

Friday FAQ’s

Happy Friday y’all! πŸ™‚ This wont be a Fashion Friday post but rather another “updates” post. There is SO MUCH going on! But hey, that’s a good thing.

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YOUR T-SHIRT ORDERS ARE DUE TODAY

So yes, the day is finally here that T-shirt orders are due!! I will be contacting you by email, Facebook, phone or WHATEVER to make sure you get a confirmation on your order making sure it is correct. Remember, I don’t care if you are out of the country! We can ship to you! πŸ™‚ Get your order in today!

YOUR T-SHIRT MONEY IS DUE IN A WEEK

The T-shirt money will be due on JULY 26TH. I will contact you AS SOON AS I RECEIVE IT IN THE MAIL. Remember, I don’t get your money? You don’t get your shirt. πŸ˜‰ So be sure to get that in ASAP.

FAQ’S FOR PICTURE CONTEST

Sooo, just to answer some questions on the picture contest!!

1. I live out of the country! Can I participate?

YES! That is so cool and this is exactly why I want to do something like this. You can participate!! Get to taking some pictures!!

2. Does this have to be a big poster board?

No, I really don’t care if it’s on notebook paper. As long as the person taking the picture can read the sign and clearly see what the words say then you’re good. The poster, sign, paper or whatever does not have to be fancy. If you want to make it fancy, that is perfectly fine!

3. I’m waiting for the perfect time to take my picture! When is the picture due by?

Your submissions are due by MONDAY, JULY 29TH. Anything after that will not be accepted.

4. Will you be posting the pics?

Sure! Every post I do, I always try to include a photo. And when I get pictures in, (with your permission) I’ll be posting contest photos at the bottom for people to look at because well, I think it’s cool to see where all of y’all live. Maybe I’ll even take one… πŸ™‚

5. How will a winner be chosen?

Well, what is pleasing to me!! Muahahah. Just kidding. But seriously, creativity, how cool the photo is, how cool the location is….Yea pretty much.

6. Why are you giving away three shirts?

Well, one for you, one for the person who probably is taking the pic and an extra. I don’t know!!! It takes some work to make your sign then get out there and do it! So yea, three shirts is pretty cool in my opinion. πŸ™‚ hahaha.

I hope this helped with some questions I’ve been receiving! Remember, if you submit your survival story to me and are randomly chosen as a survivor (the computer chooses, literally) you get a Just Breathe T-shirt! So make sure to do that as well if you want one. πŸ™‚ Thank y’all!!! Keep reading and have a PHenomenal weekend!!

-haley.