What Now?

As many of you know I just got back from Houston! I was visiting my lovely specialist and of course I had a heart cath done. But before that, there was a ton of confusion and craziness.

Thank goodness my best friend Candice decided to tag along and made this trip enjoyable! She was right there (along with my dad) to hear everything the doctors said and of course take pictures. And believe me, we shopped like crazy. At the appointment I told my doctor about a recent episode I had (the first one in years) along with all the exhaustion I’ve been having. She decided to look at the veins in my neck then made an off comment. When she came back into the room I only had one question to ask. “Am I in heart failure?” She made a face accompanied with “Well…” and I instantly flipped out and broke down. For the first time ever this disease actually scared me and it was an insane thing to experience.

Candice

From day one this disease has never really scared me, which is hard to imagine considering all the news you’re given. But for some reason, it  just hasn’t. I’ve always felt like normal “Haley” that could never have anything happen to me. Yes it’s probably part of the being young and invincible mentality but oh well. For a doctor to see something in me then hesitate telling me that I’m in heart failure sent me into a shock I’ve never experienced before. I no longer knew what confidence was, IF I was going to live long at all and what my funeral would be like. Every second, every word and every action for this whole day became questionable. I was also extremely nervous for my heart cath because this would give us the concrete evidence if I was in fact in heart failure. And at that point I began to think “What happens after heart failure at twenty?”

Echo

Needless to say the next day in the heart cath, we found out my pressures are even lower and everything is fine. But it definitely re-opened my eyes that Pulmonary Hypertension can grow on you and after a while you get use to it. It becomes something you live with daily. The needles, doctors, medication and hospitals get old and you somewhat forget how serious of a situation you’re in. I guess always take it seriously because you never know when your body could suddenly reject treatment and before you know it you’re trying to keep your head above rising water. Heart failure scared the living crap out of me for about a day and now it sits forever in the back of my mind. You should always remember this risk, however don’t become a burden to yourself. Live your life and don’t forget what you are capable of. Be aware of your disease, but don’t let it take all the power away from you.

Pre-Surgery

Surgery

Recovery has been great along with all the support! Thank you for the stories as well as all the nice things y’all have been saying. It makes this disease a little easier to PHight and I am enjoying all the comments. Never hesitate to contact me or ask me anything. I am here for support too! Enjoy the rest of y’alls week as well as the weekend!

-haley.

Follow Haley on Instagram haleyann92

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3 thoughts on “What Now?

  1. Hey Haley, It’s great to hear that your meds are still repsonding and all that. I’ve just discovered your blog and really loving reading it. It’s great to read about PH from your perspective I’m in the UK but theres not many people over here in their 20’s with PH so sometimes feel a little alone with it all but its been great to have discovered your blog
    Hope your feeling better after you Heart Cath

    Much Love Stacie xoxo

    • Hey Stacie! I am so excited you found the blog, and I hope it helps with the loneliness. The only people I’ve found with PH that are close to my age are online so don’t feel bad about that! Thank you so much for the kind words and support! Keep in touch and take care! 🙂
      -haley.

  2. Hi Haley,
    I just found your blog on Pinterest and I was diagnosed with PAH in 2013. Although I am not as young as you are, it’s a disease well known in my family. I had to sisters that have passed away from it and now I have it. But I am thankful that I have medication that was not available to them. All I can tell you is live your life…to the fullest. That is what I am doing at the age of 55.

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