Randomly this past week I’ve heard through two mutual friends of someone they know getting diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension (which blows my mind), then someone posted a discussion question of what would you say to a newly diagnosed person with this disease? I had no idea what to even think about this and it took about a week, mainly because I still don’t know how to talk about the disease without feeling somewhat awkward. When I was first diagnosed I was so all over the place and had no comprehension hardly of what they were telling me or what I was about to become. I easily understood what was wrong with my body, but I guess I just didn’t get how serious it was.
So let me re-phrase this, I had no comprehension of what MY BODY was about to become, not myself. I had a hard time separating my body from my self-worth for a long time and still do which is the main problem people with a diagnosis of whatever are struggling with. In this society its hard not to see your self-worth attached to your body in some way. We all think that if our hair looks like this, our face like this, and our weight is low then we have a high view of ourselves in our minds. When a doctor sits in front of your face and tells you that you’re dying, its hard not to feel worthless. Mentally accepting and dealing with a disease is hard mainly because you see yourself as a dysfunctional body. You’re tied to high blood pressure, a bad heart or lungs or whatever it might be, and you begin to label yourself like this. You are not a dysfunctional pair of lungs. You are a person who has a disease and you may or may not choose to fight it. You are still you despite what your body chooses to be.
Newly diagnosed? All I have to say is know who you still are but be very aware of what your BODY is about to become. Your body is now a pin-cushion, tester for treatment, oxygen therapy, pill popping machine. Take it seriously. BUT YOU are still a person who enjoys all of those hobbies, songs, color schemes, kittens and funny photos. You are not a body. You have a body and you are a soul.