Break The Ties

IV

 

Randomly this past week I’ve heard through two mutual friends of someone they know getting diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension (which blows my mind), then someone posted a discussion question of what would you say to a newly diagnosed person with this disease? I had no idea what to even think about this and it took about a week, mainly because I still don’t know how to talk about the disease without feeling somewhat awkward. When I was first diagnosed I was so all over the place and had no comprehension hardly of what they were telling me or what I was about to become. I easily understood what was wrong with my body, but I guess I just didn’t get how serious it was.

So let me re-phrase this, I had no comprehension of what MY BODY was about to become, not myself. I had a hard time separating my body from my self-worth for a long time and still do which is the main problem people with a diagnosis of whatever are struggling with. In this society its hard not to see your self-worth attached to your body in some way. We all think that if our hair looks like this, our face like this, and our weight is low then we have a high view of ourselves in our minds. When a doctor sits in front of your face and tells you that you’re dying, its hard not to feel worthless. Mentally accepting and dealing with a disease is hard mainly because you see yourself as a dysfunctional body. You’re tied to high blood pressure, a bad heart or lungs or whatever it might be, and you begin to label yourself like this. You are not a dysfunctional pair of lungs. You are a person who has a disease and you may or may not choose to fight it. You are still you despite what your body chooses to be.

Newly diagnosed? All I have to say is know who you still are but be very aware of what your BODY is about to become. Your body is now a pin-cushion, tester for treatment, oxygen therapy, pill popping machine. Take it seriously. BUT YOU are still a person who enjoys all of those hobbies, songs, color schemes, kittens and funny photos. You are not a body. You have a body and you are a soul.

-haley.

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2 thoughts on “Break The Ties

  1. Wow, this was strange. I was googling a Brown & Haley Almond Roca Nutcracker ballet free tickets Contest and your blog came up. My son had PH for 15 years from age 3-18. He had a lung transplant this year and is doing great. Good Luck to you.-

    • Sunnie,
      Wow that is insane!! I’ve done a lot this year with the nutcracker inside my classroom and things like so, so its crazy odd that you searched that and ended up here. Your son sounds ridiculously strong and so do you. I cant imagine a lung transplant, so best wishes to him and your family for a full and long recovery. Thank you so much and I hope you keep up!
      -Haley

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