Angry Cat.

FullSizeRenderAngry Cat face courtesy of Rocco.

So, my loves, I was going to make a post about all the same-sex marriage legalization and Texas’s appalling actions following. However, it was going to come out exactly like a post a made a couple of months ago. Remember all the awesome MASH memes in my Religious Freedom post? Yea, that one. It’s been updated with all of this news. Its pretty simple, and it’s pretty funny if you know who Frank Burns is to begin with. Check it out, and feel free to share. In fact, please share. Click Here to Read the Religious Freedom Post!

Song of the Week is Baby Don’t Go by Sonny and Cher because…Cher. :)




And I lived Happily Ever After…with Me.

I feel content in my very single bubble. I guess you could say I’m dating myself. I take myself out, buy myself the drinks I want, watch the movies I want, I eat what I want, I talk to who I want to talk to, and I am having a blast. I really don’t see why people make a huge awful deal about singleness. There are a lot of upsides to spoiling yourself. With that being said, I’ve become a little terrified of dating. Not only because of the shitty options that people present themselves to be (they aren’t shitty people, they just have no idea what dating etiquette is) the actual shitty people, and because of how people choose to act in relationships. Here are a few things that are the up most terrifying dating behavior that will maybe clue you into why you are single if you are one of those who bitches about it constantly, or why people might dislike you and not want to hang out with you and your significant other.

Looking for Your Person.


And why are we looking to begin with? When you are on the prowl, you are openly scanning people like a meat market, and seeing what fits to your delight. By doing that, you are probably looking in the wrong place, you are being fooled by outward things, and therefore you make the proud decision to talk to someone completely wrong for you. Dating apps, and websites? You’re rating other people based on stupid facts that don’t even really sum up a person, and in return you are allowing yourself to be rated to. It’s a sure-fire way to dating failure.

Smothering a Person.


It’s all happened to us. You meet someone with potential, maybe they have a nice smile, and hopefully they aren’t an axe murderer. Except it might be worse than that; you wake up with five text messages the next day from them. “Good Morning!”  “How are you?” “I guess you’re still asleep!” “Text me when you wake up!” “Have a great day!” OH MY GOD, DUDE. Jump off a cliff. Not really, but still this is such a huge turnoff and no-no. Give someone space, and if they are the right person for you then they will respond. If they are not responding, then they don’t want to talk to you (which you need to accept), or you are giving them a reason to not want to talk to you. Yikes.

Becoming Your Significant Other


Can I just say that when you are finally dating, you realize it’s about two people dating, right? Two different people, with two different dreams, two different personalities, and two different interests? Since when did it become a “we” world? What happened to your friends? Even in marriages, yes you are becoming “one flesh” or whatever, but still, COME ON PEOPLE! Do not give up, and throw away what you want, or desire for an image you are trying to achieve. There is a difference in compromising with your significant other, participating in things they like, versus transforming yourself into someone who your friends cannot stand to be around. Another example of this; Couple facebook’s. Really? Like who am I talking to when I post on your wall? Are y’all just a united force? No. You are two people who are now becoming annoying.

Reaching Desperation


Believe in or not, in my opinion this can happen in and out of relationships. We all know what someone looks like who’s desperate and single. Making single humor jokes (good lord), constantly cruising through online dating profiles, talks about dating, and just keeps going. But desperation when you are dating? To me it’s the person that can’t function without their person. They become desperate for them. Attempting to make things work that do not work, cramming the other person in other people’s faces, does not care about their life outside of this person, and is slowly making a fool of themselves. You cannot look up to someone, and let a person run your life. You run your own life, because someone else will run it into the ground for you whether they are a good person or not.

Well, lovelies these are just very short descriptions of what is getting on my nerves lately. Human connections, and relationships are supposed to be of an organic chemistry that comes together. It is not forced, it is not figured out for you by the internet, and there really isn’t a damn thing you should be doing about it other than minding your manners.




My What Spot?

My white spot. 

FullSizeRender (5)

“I can’t see it!” Well, it’s there. 

A month ago (maybe longer) I made a post about tanning titled  “Fake ‘N Bake.” If you read that, then you might get a sense of my tanning history. I started tanning at seventeen (before it was illegal in Texas) got realllllly tan my senior year of high school (and loved it!) Every since then I bet I spent close to three hundred dollars a summer on my tan. Last year I started working for a tanning salon, and got a little bit smarter about my tanning as I was educated more. However, all of us girls loved being tan! As long as we didn’t get the ugly C-word, we would probably still roast ourselves everyday.


A really dark seventeen year old, pre-diagnosis Haley

This summer I’ve been too broke, and too busy to worry about tanning. I moved to a very remote location that doesn’t offer it – which is a great thing. A few months ago, while putting on my makeup, I noticed a discoloration of a part of my face. It was weird because it wasn’t hyper pigmentation but rather than hypo after I did some research. Why did I have a white spot right in the middle of my extremely red cheeks (I have rosacea) and of course this ugly thing was right in the middle of where I contour.

My search results? UV damage. Hypo pigmentation is when a trauma to the skin occurs (like UV rays), now the cells that produce melanin die, and you are left with no color in your skin. Sometimes its a disease where it spreads, which is the last thing I need. Everyone remember Michael Jackson? Yea, its called vitiligo. But in my case, hopefully, it’s just going to be a small little white patch that will forever irk me.


I don’t regret what I said in my last post, in fact in the beginning I reminded you of the dangers of tanning. That post is merely to help those that still decide to tan indoors. However, after my experience I can officially say I’m done! I tanned for five years, and I got off really lucky yet with damage. It’s not just one of those things where it might happen to you, it WILL happen to you. I am not one of the crazies that protests tanning, and thinks it should be outlawd. If people want to do that, that is their choice. There is a right way, and a wrong way to do something, and the wrong way is trying to get everyone to do it the right way. 

So what am I doing now? Well I’ll be that person that will be wearing sunblock mixed in with my primer to protect my face, and whenever I can I’ll invest in a spray tan. My day to day routine consists of Jergans lotion (the darkest one) that has actually given me a great color, and it smells fantastic y’all! I’ve tried Sally Hansen’s spray on legs (the medium color) and I’m not too impressed. Its very shimmery, a bit of a nasty orange tint, so I don’t know If I will continue using it. Over all, I have a natural red tint to my skin, and I hold a decent color all year. I will settle for a less than amazing bronze color over skin damage, and cancer. I think I can live with that, because I’m choosing life. Merrrrp.

Have a fantastic Monday everyone! Song of the week is Sometimes Part 1 (Interlude) by The Nth Power who I got to see live at Gathering of Nations! They are sooo fantastic, please check them out.



Welcome, Newbies.

Welcome to all of you who just recently started following. The blog has changed a lot in the past couple of years, as well as meeeee. You can always check the FAQ page, and here are some  fun little questions I answered recently. Comment, rate, or shoot me an email if need be.



How old are you? 

I’m about to be twenty-three.

When did you start blogging, and why?

I want to say in August of 2012 because I had finally figured out I was okay with my disease (Pulmonary Hypertension) and had a lot to say about it.

What is your blog’s primary focus?

Honestly, just things that capture my heart.

Do you still work on writing outside of the blog?

Yes, I’m finishing my book (I’m re-writing the ending) and I’ve dabbled in poetry.

Where are you located?

A very colorful, and cultural state. :)

Describe your personal style?

Boyish with a few jewels, and vintage pieces thrown in.

Which fashion icon has most influenced your approach to style?

Janis Joplin, Millicent Rogers, Stevie Nicks, and Betsey Johnson. I could never narrow it down to just one.

What is your greatest splurge?

Food, purses, jewelry and art.

What is your best feature?

My Kat Von D cat-eyeliner that is painted on, always.

Where do you find most inspiration?

Within nature, my culture, and music.

How has Education influenced your career?

If we’re talking about the piece of paper you pay a lot of money for, then it hasn’t. I’ve taken my college courses, but everything that I’ve learned that has truly helped me in meeting other people, talking with them, loving them and learning through them…I’ve learned by living. I love learning. Not everything important comes by a paper earned by sitting within four walls. But if you have that piece of paper because you worked your butt off for it, that’s cool too. I have to get that one day too.

What are you currently most frustrated with?

I can honestly say I’m not…is that insane?

What most boosts your confidence?

When I’m tan, having a good hair day, and when people compliment my writing.

What is a woman’s greatest asset?

Independence, and knowledge.

Which character trait do you must value in others?

Probably humor, and honesty.

How do you relieve stress?

Painting, drawing, and writing.

When are you happiest?

When I’m in the mountains, making new friends, and when I’m cuddling with Rocco.

What do you want people to know about your disease?

Yes, I’m actually sick.

What do you think is the most important thing in life?

Never stop learning. And of course loving other people.


A Want To Life.

As we all might know by now that finally I moved. My family has been calling to check on me every now and then to see how I’m liking it, which honestly, I was worried about of course. I moved to a very small town that attracts tourists, and the community seasonally changes. The mountain scenery is unbeatable, but yea, I make a forty-five minute drive just to get to groceries. After talking with my brother on the phone one night about how different things are, it kind of made me realize what makes me so happy here.


You would think giving up a mall, a high-dollar makeup store, and even a grocery store would be something I wouldn’t even consider, but I really don’t care which surprised me. You see, corporate America has taken over not only our lives, but our brains. They decided what we eat, drink, how we behave, and they try to convince us what we can’t live without. They are mass producers with telephone lines where machines talk to you, they don’t know about their customers, and they are in a rush of production. America is all about the rush. Faster internet, faster shipping, faster customer service, run errands faster, faster, faster, faster!!! Pretty soon we are blind to see how much we are running around, and come home only to collapse on the couch, and scroll through Facebook. We are living a “have-to” life because society convinced us of what we “have to have.”

I’ve only lived here a little over a week, and I feel like I’m in a rehabilitation center. Not in a bad way, but in the kind of way where I just feel relaxed all the time. And miraculously, I HAVE time, something I never thought I had before. Why? Pretty much everything here is local. Every store is owned by someone who lives here, even the small grocery store we do have available. And what is there to do? A few shops to get some cute things, a candy store, coffee shops, restaurants where people already know your name (cue the Cheers music) and if that doesn’t suit you, there are yoga classes are the community center, or hiking, or fishing. You really don’t have to do anything, except work. I overheard a lady talking about her grandson visiting the other day, and how he was ready to run around town and she only had her coffee in her hand. Her exact words,”He’s not used to this life. Things are a little slower and calmer here.”  Exactly.


Everyone around here does what they need to basically put food on the table, and what else they do is up to them. Walking down the street, waving to neighbors, sitting on the porch in the middle of the day drinking a beer before you get back to doing whatever. It’s not a have-to life its a want-to life. I think this is as close to the “good ‘ol days”  as it gets. Everything that’s unnecessary that the world has convinced you that you “can’t” live without, you can. You just have no idea, because you are brainwashed into thinking its necessary. Live the life you want to live before it’s too late, and live simply.

Song of the Week is Ventura Highway by America.


Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

The Problem I Have with this Nipple Mess.

No, I do not like my own body. Not necessarily because it’s a female body with extra curves, but because of the changes I would like to make happen faster. Does anyone really like their own body though? If you love it then gold star for you. Do I like feeling sexy? Of course. Do I like my body being sexualized? Not really. Not only does everyone else’s actions play a big role in that problem, but mine as well. The other day I saw a trending post on Facebook (can I just side mention how much I hate Facebook’s little news column crap?) that was about Instagram’s new policy on nipples. Yes, they had to make a policy on what they will allow which is ridiculous to begin with. It is as follows: Unless you are breast feeding, posting a picture of a piece of art, or are showing mastectomy scars then it will be removed. Sounds pretty justifiable to me? Then you have these comments: “I’m tired of my body being removed from social media because it’s considered sexual, it’s just flesh.” “I’m tired of having to cover up my nipples when men don’t.” “I’m tired of being sexualized.”  Ladies, please tell me, if you are not breastfeeding, if you are not showing your mastectomy scars, and if you are not taking a picture of a statue or some painting with nipples…then how else are you posting your body? How else are you displaying it, and in what way? Instagram knocked out every category where it wasn’t sexual. The only excuse you now have to post your nipples? In a sexual way. You are sexualizing yourself, and you are therefore a hypocrite. Lets talk about little miss Miley Cyrus for a second, not because I want to but because I need to. Why else would she pose nude for PAPER magazine? What was she showing? What was she proving? absolutely nothing. You know every man looked that picture up the night it was released. Not because she is a proud display of art, but because she sexualized herself. If you want to be seen respectably, then display it, and act it. My first tattoo that I ever had done was on my ribcage. When I was ready to show everyone, I wanted a really cool picture to show it off. Seeing as how my bra-strap would’ve covered it, I took a photo covering my breast (that still showed the “sideboob”) and I caught a lot of shit off of that photo. I knew what I was doing by posting it; I knew it was going to be viewed sexually, and I was prepared. Why didn’t I care? Because my nipple was covered, and I was proud of my new piece of art on my body. There is a difference. And I did the same with my new tattoo.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

It’s mountains with trees incase you could’nt see that.

I’ve had the whole christian methods rammed in my face, and I totally agree that girls should not have to cover up because boys need to control themselves. I hated having to pick out a special wardrobe (of pretty much pants and long sleeves only) for a summer christian camp (that was the stupidest experience of my life) because I was a female. I agree, its stupid, but men can’t help that they are visual. A study showed that in the evolution of the bikini that when a man saw a woman in a bikini, the only parts of his brain that were active were the parts he looked at like he would a tool. He did not see that she was a person who had feelings, and goals but rather than an object to stare at like he was shopping for a hammer. Is he evil? No. It’s just how his brain is wired. What will I teach my daughters, and sons? No, you should not alter what you want to wear to control someone else, or feel as though you are being shamed for your body. But rather, you should take into consideration what you are wearing, how you are wearing it, and how you want to be taken or received. I don’t want my body sexualized, or my daughter’s, or my son’s. I want them to feel respected, be respected, and by doing that they will have to meet society halfway. They want to paint pictures of naked people? Great. They want to go to a pool party, and wear a bikini? Great. I hope they understand that the guys talking to them are nice human beings with other parts of their brains activated, and miiiiiight be under the influence of that too. They want to pose naked for a photo shoot? Then I hope they understand what exactly they are doing, and the risks with it. Overall, you have to do your part when it comes to what society sees you as. If you have a problem, then fucking fix it. 


State of Mind.

Its been a while lovelies! I woke up one day, realized how unhappy I was, and that I needed change soon. So, here I am, in a completely different state of mind, and actual state. For a while, a lot of people secretly (and probably still do) hate me. I was a pretty angry person, and I’m not a liar. I’m very upfront about what I feel, so, I guess you could say that I wasn’t scared to show I was angry. Yea, that gets old, and we feel the need to hide these people from our Facebook timelines, and delete them out of our lives. But for what? Treading on ours, or in other words, being human? You see, I felt supremely judged for feeling and expressing a human emotion. I think from time to time we all realize we are stuck at some point. Our attitudes follow into despair, and clog up our social media. Pretty soon, people want nothing to do with us, and we’re sitting alone at night with our ice cream. Why? Because we’re being shamed for anger. So many people these days are constantly posting on their social media about how lovely life is. And, I’m sure it is, don’t get me wrong. But we get so used to seeing the great side that the minute anyone posts anything that isn’t so great, we are hated on. Get real people. Literally. We need to learn to accept that people, and we ourselves are living life. Through up’s and down’s be there to support people despite how they are expressing their emotions at the time. It sucks, a lot, and maybe we can help it not suck. The difference in my situation, and the people that we should be getting annoyed with? I knew I was unhappy, I knew why, and I was prepared to do something about it. I just wanted to say a quick thank you to those who stuck beside me in a truly terrible time. This has been a changing period like never before! I had such a great year exactly one year ago starting now, and for my feelings to up and change (and me have to change everything to keep up with it) has been exhausting in every form. Thank you to those who kept in contact with me, for letting me be human, for supporting me, to keep reading my blog, and to keep being a friend. My mountain views may be lovely in the morning now, but I’m still struggling in other ways now. Life is life. It’s just a little bit prettier now. :)





Well, Lets Just Throw This Out Here.

Mental health is the hardest thing to treat, accept, live with, and discuss. Mainly because these days everyone loves to throw the “crazy” word around, and leave it be. It’s so much easier to just toss people aside for an illness we cannot understand, and for something that seems too difficult to grasp. Most people are frightened by mental illness, so its much easier to make fun of it, or ignore it. When I was first diagnosed, I did not understand my own feelings. I could not comprehend my frequent change in mood, why I felt the way I did, and what I was suffering from. Once I did understand the mental side to my health (straight up anger), my body soon followed into a successful recovery. As I will always say, life is a state of mind over matter. If you can mentally square yourself away, then maybe just maybe you will make it. But mental health is an everyday battle. It will never just be “fixed.” Things happen, you will be exposed to new things, maybe injuries or even medication will constantly alter your mental state. So before that tacky “crazy” word comes sputtering out of your mouth, lets sink ourselves into what exactly its like to suffer from being trapped in your own mind, or just from living with yourself.

You are constitutionally incapable of turning ‘you’ off. | Community Post: 33 Signs You Are Jess Day From

I have existed within a state of anxiety since I can remember. Anything would set me off, from parting from my parents for a few hours, reading a book, or even watching Alice in Wonderland. I don’t know why I have anxiety, but as I have grown older, the disease has grown too. My brain works the way that it does, and I have to do my best to live a functional life. Seeking out help a year ago, I visited my primary doctor asking for advice. He started me on a very low dosage of Xanax because he was frightened how it would work with my respiratory system seeing as how I have this incurable, fatal respiratory disease. Moving on, I was also sent to have a pysch evaluation at my request to make sure I was okay which I was then just formally diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder. I was given two higher dosages of Xanax. I began taking them because I was supposed to – got sleepy but that was a whatever thing to me. Then I became taking them during panic attacks, or when I knew I was about to go into what I thought was a stressful situation. Then I started taking two, or three, or more. By last month I was too tired to even walk across my house. I wasn’t remembering parts of my day, having trouble separating dreams from reality, and I was blacking out throughout the day. When I didn’t have my pills I was anxious, restless, emotional, and well, unbearable in my mind.

Yes, I am a Xanax addict. I thought of the brilliant idea (ha. ha. ha.) that I would try to not take any while I attended Gathering of Nations at the end of April. I was surrounded by my culture I loved, busy with shopping, dancing, friends, music…I was ecstatic until about thirty minutes into it. There were millions of people there, it was hot, I was stressed by emotional triggers, and there was no Xanax in site. Fourteen hours into the Pow-Wow (yes, they go on forever, and we were there that long) I had spiked a fever, was nauseated, irritable, shaky, sweating, short of breath just from sitting down, and weak. It didn’t stop there, of course. I had no medication to “numb” my brain. My brain hadn’t had to think in a long time, in fact it at this point was used to just shutting off. Every feeling I was finally feeling, I was experiencing on the highest level. I felt alone, scared, shut away and suicidal; and yes I relapsed a week later.

mental illness affects 1 in 4, its the leading cause of death in young canadians; sylvia plath <3

This detox, and attempt to get away from a drug that calms me (in probably not the best way possible) has been a painful one. Not only physically, but mentally. Mental illnesses are the worst because they are our literal being. The are the reason, and voices in our head that decide exactly what we do; so when you spat your mouth off about how we are the way we are, it’s not just a hurtful thing in itself…but its destructive to us, and we already want to destroy ourselves. We have to live with ourselves, and anyone can find a million reasons why they dislike or even hate themselves. To hear it from someone confirms with the little red man inside of us that maybe, just maybe it isn’t worth it to keep fighting the big fight. Maybe everyone else already won, and we are eternally the losers.

Quote on mental health: Not every disability is visible. www.HealthyPlace.com

I try really hard to be truthful with people, mainly because I hate liars, and I know what its like to be lied to. I try really hard to love people, and show them the best parts of themselves and how to use it, mainly because very very very few people have ever done that for me. I had to do it myself. I try really hard to keep smiling on the outside, because I know how it feels to see nothing but a bunch of shit around you instead of happiness. Your words, your actions, and your gossip could be the final puzzle piece to a disaster that you never thought would be complete.

Mental illness is invisible. Mental illness is painful, and it is often masked with lots of smiles, words, medications, and attempts to love others and be normal. Help someone instead of talking about them. People are So Worth Loving.

Song of the Week is Carnival by the Cardigans because they are precious, and its such a happy song. Check it out!

Also, for a limited time in my Etsy Shop (well, until supplies last and until I leave the state) you can purchase this bundle for only $15! It includes a Just Breath tee, Medical ID card, and a inspirational card. All of that for only $15! Yes, children’s sizes are available! Does a friend need a shirt, or a kiddo? The link to my shop is under the “SHOP” tab!




Fake ‘n Bake.

I can’t believe It’s already that time of year for shorts, and here we are left to look at some white legs. Some people can embrace it, and others (like me) can not handle it. Tanning to me has been kind of a luxury, and dangerous activity that I’ve been doing since I was a senior in high school (before the laws changed over.) So yes, this post is going to be all about UV tanning, the dangers, protection, benefits, secrets and lotions because aaaalllllooooottt of people are being lied to by companies, or friends. I started tanning today, and just reminded myself of all of these super important steps. Not only have I been tanning since I was seventeen, but I also worked in a highly professional tanning salon for a while. I had to be educated in tanning itself, had to learn about different beds, spray tanned people, lotions and just about anything else you can think of. It was super interesting, and it also taught me how to take care of my skin despite participating in the dangers of tanning. I had a lot of happy customers and clients, and loved what I did! kingsley With full disclosure: Yes, tanning is obviously still bad for your skin. I’m not recommending that you tan, I’m simply here to help you if you do decide to tan, or are already tanning. You need to take precautions and educate yourself in what you are doing. The big scary cancer word is still a risk, and a risk that you are deciding to take. Moving forward!! So, you might decide that you want to start indoor tanning. When going to look for a salon, you need to ask about packages and what not, obviously. If the girl doesn’t know what she is talking about when it comes to levels, beds, and doesn’t even show you them, then she isn’t going to know how to tan you. Make sure you can feel that they are confident in what they are talking about. When it comes to the beds, the shorter the time, the stronger the bed. You need to start out about halfway (depending on your skin – if you burn easily then less than halfway) on the time. Most places don’t even give you a choice, out of respect to your safety. They aren’t being controlling, they just don’t want to put anyone in danger. Start out SMALL and SLOW.  Also, switching up your beds is going to help with a great tan. Different beds, levels…it’s almost like a workout for your skin. It’s a great way to get results! But, you never start out in a high level. Also, I don’t believe in tanning every damn day. Three days a week, maybe four was perfect. inbox me for this weeks tanning appointments ---see you soon ! When you start out tanning, lotion IS important. Yes, they are expensive. The cheaper they are, the crappier they are. It’s just the truth. Your three dollar lotion from Walmart is not doing you any favors. Why is lotion so important? Protection, better tan, moisture. You are participating in an act that dries out your skin. Moisturized skin is happy skin, and it tans better. Good lotions also provide a certain level of protection, and actually help the skin tan better as well. When you tan dry, you are not doing yourself any favors. Bronzers: Bronzers have a tinted look to the lotion itself, providing instant and fake color on top of you achieving your tanned color. This will come out in the shower, or when you shave, but it helps people reach a tan faster by providing that little pop of instant color. A good bronzer wont rub off, but some may, so be prepared. Also, a good bronzer should have a nice tint to you. Try a dab on your arm and see if you like the look and smell, because the nasty O word (orange) is a risk. Liquid Assets sul blog http://blog.giallozafferano.it/dolcitentazionidirdc/liquid-assets-by-australian-gold/

Liquid Assets is almost like a mix of a bronzer and intensifer. The smell of this lotion is strong!

Instensifiers: These are usually a light, or almost white color. This is more about getting the skin ready to tan, moisturizing it, and letting it achieve its color a bit more naturally but making sure that is intensified naturally. They smell great, they are usually light, and for people who don’t want to risk a left over color then this is your best bet. Tingles: Lawd have mercy. If you want to feel like the first layer of your skin is being peeled off, then go for it. A tingle irritates the crap out of your skin, making the blood flow faster and producing a more powerful and faster tan. This is where that whole “beauty is pain” comes into play. I refused to try one because I cannot stand to itch, which is usually the sensation people get, or a burning one as well. This should be for experienced tanning peeps only. Aftercare: This is where most people screw up.  You may have your regular tanning lotion that you put on before the bed, but you need one AFTER. Yes, I’m serious. That Victoria’s Secret lotion, or Jergens? It has alcohol and sulfate in it. In fact, just about every lotion out there does, including your shaving cream and body washes. That STRIPS color, literally. You have to keep moisturizing your skin to maintain color, and you can’t just do it with anything. My favorite brand for this would be HEMPZ. It smells great, and it prolongs the tan while being extremely healthy for the skin. Hempz herbal body moistureizer....smells delish. Face:  Your face is the only one you have, and yes you are damaging it too because it is exposed! A super light sun block is advised, or a face lotion that helps protect it, but tan it too is beyond recommended. Like Crystals from Australian Gold – it has no bronzers in it because no one wants a fake color on their face, but it helps protect that color. “I put the towel over my face!” Um, yea that doesn’t do anything. Tattoo’s:  Is everyone paying attention!!! One of the most important parts!! I cannot tell you the importance of protecting your ink. If you like your ink at all, then you NEEEEED a tattoo stick. Tanning ruins tattoos because it fades the color. Your black tattoo will turn faded and green. Invest in a tattoo stick that has a high sunblock level that you can run all over tattoo’s to keep them looking great. The tattoo sticks are best for people who have small ones here and there. If you have massive pieces, then you need to invest in a tattoo protecting lotion. Also, NEVER EVER tan with a new tattoo. Ed Hardy Tattoo Stick Protect UV Fade Sunscreen SPF Resistant Tanning Tan UV by Ed Hardy. $5.99. Water resistant and non-greasy. Keep tattoos longer. Protects tattoos from fading. Sunscreen. Fragrance: Light Tropical. Enhance and protect your tattoos with Ed Hardy's UVA/UVB blocking SPF 60 tattoo stick. Very water resistant and non-greasy formula with added shea butter moisturizers. You can make your tattoo last the test of time with sun blocking formula. After Smell:  Yes, this is actually an issue. Tanning makes you smell weird – almost like you’ve been working out with a little toasty smell to it. Another reason why finding a lotion is important! Bonus! Teeth: Yes, you can whiten your teeth in the tanning bed! How awesome is that?! I did all last summer, and received lots of compliments. I was using “Twilight Teeth” which allows you to put a little dissolving minty tasting gel over your teeth, smile the whole time, then you are done! There is no rinsing, no pain, no damage. I did it every other tan, and if I missed one, they give you a little light to touch up at home. Yes, it actually works. Twilight Teeth Whitening Kit Lotions in store are an investment, and they are expensive because they are skin care! A lot of us think “I’ll just buy offline, it’ll be so much cheaper!” I’ve been guilty of it too. The problem with this is that you have no idea what is in that bottle. You could’ve just paid for something that they switched out, or put something in to harm you on purpose. Buy from a trusted company if you do decide to take the risk of buying online. When it comes to spray tan, the only one I’ve had experience with is the Mystic Machine. It is fantastic for spray tans! You want to make sure the ingredients are Red Beet Based to give your skin red undertones because that is natural. Anything else will give you orange undertones…spraytan disaster. Be careful what boosters, scents and other things you put in your spray tan cartridge. You don’t want to go all out your first time! Also, you are putting something like paint (not really) on your skin, so you need to PRIME. Always invest in a primer if you become an avid spray tanner. Aftercare is exceptionally important for the same reasons of alcohol and sulfate – HEMPZ is still an option. My favorite brand of lotions always came from Australian Gold! I think that they have reasonable prices for the awesome lotions that have always given me great results! My favorite to use was a men’s actually, G for Gentlemen Natural Bronzer, because of the sexy man smell. Yes, I smelled like a man and I didn’t care. It also had tattoo protectant, and bronzers in the lotion. It was fabulous!! No, I’m obviously not sponsored, but check out the Australian Gold website to browse through their selection and find a way to order through them, or a store near you! I’m not saying you should be tanning, but if you choose to Fake ‘n Bake, I hope you enjoyed these tips to get you through to a successful and natural looking tan. -haley. @haleyann92


You Best Stay the Hell Away From My Child.

So, If you’ve been on Facebook lately I’m sure you have seen the lovely little news bar that sits on the right side of your page. Ya know, that little negative strip of  information that really no one needs to see? And bonus! You can’t make it go away. The whole mom sitting in on her son’s sex-ed class thing caught my attention, and let me just ask you this, is this a nightmare? I’m all for parents questioning their children’s schooling because your children’s education is at risk. But this lady is bat-shit insane. Ohh yesss, the controversial subject of not only sex, but sex education. I remember my first class being in fourth grade, and I couldn’t think straight for a week. Then it seemed like it happened every week until I was in high school. It’s like the school could not shut up about sex because they knew everyone around them was having it.

Moving on, the problem with sex education is the fact that it is missing the educational part. They want to show you every disease, every pregnancy statistic, every colored condom and literally every documentary about why sex is wrong. So what do all the little children talk about even more? Um, sex. You just intrigued us and put a magnifying glass over it. I’ve always said that the problem with about 90% of educators is they do not make themselves culturally aware, and prepared to get on these children’s level. To be a successful educator, in layman’s terms, you have to stay hip in a way. You take a subject, and put it on their level using their language, and talking to them as though they are your own children. You get on their level.

Juno (2007) Movie Quotes #juno2007 #moviequotes

Recently, I went to a local junior high to discuss Native American activism and history. Thats something that could easily put anyone to sleep. Using their language, how they would talk to friends, getting their attention, making them laugh…it was ridiculously fun. And when I heard them talking amongst themselves “Ooo, I like her attitude” then I knew I did something right. People say it’s because I’m young, which yes is true. But honestly people, all these kids need is sincerity. They are exposed to so much more than you were ever exposed to at their age. They have real questions, and are going to need real answers.

They need to learn about real life sex. What it’s about, why its awesome, and why it’s a responsibility. They DO need to see the risks of STD’s (that are actually most of the time invisible – but we forget to mention that part and just show them nasty pictures) and they do need to see what raising a kid looks like. Not pushing it out, but rather than what it’s going to take. They need to be shown the responsibility behind the act.

"This ain't no Etch a Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid, home skillet." Juno (2007) Movie Quotes #juno2007 #moviequotes

Then you have crazy-ass bitch bags that sit in like this. Why do I disagree with her?

1. She sat in on the class in the first place, among these children creating a stressful, and a harassed filled environment for the educators. I would’ve kicked her ass.

2. She has no earthly idea what other parent’s prefer their children hearing. I know its high school, but when you are publicly screaming “fuck” in front of my kid at another adult (giving an example of what a high school student would do instead of an adult) I have a fucking problem. Oops, did I say that? I may have a dirty mouth, but you best believe it’s cleaned up in public.

3. She’s a word twister. The guest speaker (who made a bad choice of words) made an example of “if a girl is saying she wants to wait and says no, then that is the girl you want.” I think all of us sane-people know what this means. But her crazy ass thinks he’s promoting rape. “Saying no really means saying yes!!” is what she is proclaiming. Realllllllyyyy bitch?

4. She doesn’t just encourage sex education, she encourages it period. Dude, really? Yes. Let them know its pleasurable, that it’s awesome, its normal to have…desires. Aside from that, these are still kids. They can look grown up, and feel grown up things, but they cannot execute them properly. They usually don’t want to, or can’t go to a clinic to get checked, they cannot raise a child, and they sometimes even throw bitch fits about buying condoms. Oh, but  have all the sex you want! Why should you deny yourself? You can’t get pregnant with oral or anal sex!!! Thats what she is wanting to tell your children.

Juno (2007) Movie Quotes #juno2007 #moviequotes

Bottom line, she wanted to make headlines (and she did) unfortunately while flaunting her knowledge. She is a Sex professor, and wants to teach everyone only the good points. I see why she does if it’s something she’s passionate about enough to get a degree in. But with this subject, especially with KIDS, they do need to see the bad. They do need to see the life changing decisions behind one what seems like a simple one. Ok lady, stick to the older crowds who probably have given up on their sex lives, or maybe some college kids that need to learn further about the subject.

But stay the hell away from everyone’s children.

Song of the Week is Combination of the Two by Janis Joplin and Big Brother and the Holding Company. SCREAM IT OUT Y’ALL!!