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Active Parenting.

Back in my educational days, the phrase “active learning, active teaching” was something you heard at almost every conference which happened what seemed like everyday of the week. Because ya know, on top of all these ridiculous hours that teachers put in, they still have to attend the ten conferences a week too. Anyways, from what I can remember (and if they haven’t changed anything – because they change the new acceptable teaching styles like they change their underwear) active teaching meant you are literally active with the kids; you are singing with them, sitting at the table with them, interacting, asking questions, and everyone is laughing and painting rainbows. Just kidding, it was more like trying to rope a litter of kittens sometimes (depending on the lunch food or moon), but active teaching was actually fun if you were doing it right. Still, active teaching, and learning is definitely my thing. When you are active in this child’s life, you are learning just as much about them as they are hopefully learning about the subject. It’s a bonding experience with your students, they develop a sense of trust, and they enjoy learning in your company. You are not just the typical teacher leaning over their desks with your red pen. This got me thinking about extending this further into a child’s life. What if we had active parenting for children these days?

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Now what in the hell am I talking about? When I see a lot of kids social media for example, it blows my mind how many are posting what they want to, and how unaware their parents are. They put their suicide notes on Facebook, and all their friends are calling and arranging rides to drive to this teenagers house to check on them, while the parent is in their bedroom peacefully unaware. Kids posting on Instagrams about all their drug loves, “Snapchatting” things they shouldn’t be, using dating apps, and looking up Fifty Shades of Grey porn. What teenager wouldn’t have been doing this throughout the ages if they had access? They have the world in the palm of their hand, they have friends to pick them up and take them out into the world, and that Football game or sleepover? They get lost in a sea of kids to go do God knows what while you think they are just at a “football game” or “sleeping over.” If you aren’t careful your kid is acting twenty-one at fifteen when they do not have the capacity in their brains to be “acting” like that. Yes, they are in “grown up” bodies, and can feel “grown up” things, but they do not have the knowledge, experience or power to execute those emotions correctly yet.

No, you cannot control your kids actions; you cannot sit on top of them. I’ve watched parents control everything down to the minutes on the kid’s phone, and let me tell you, they weren’t successful either. Its a delicate balance of power, respect and back-fire. So what exactly as a parent are you supposed to do? Get active; be an active parent. Trust your kids, do not trust the internet. BAN (yes, ban) certain apps from their phone, know their friends, keep in contact with the friend’s parents, watch their social media, talk to them and let yourself become an active safety net. The way I see it, the parents that are “chill”, have no structure within their kids lives, then freak out when something goes wrong are the wrong kind of safety net. They make themselves seem like an awesome parent, but they are not paying attention or listening. That kind of safety net rests on the ground, so when the kid falls they hit hard. Why? Because that parent wasn’t paying attention. Be the parent that is there to pick your kid up when they did get in over their head. Other parents don’t even let their kids get OUT of the safety net, therefor everyone loses their minds. Don’t be that parent either. Delicately balance an off the ground, not too close but in the middle system that is best for all, and each age will need adjusting because each age is a completely new set of traps.

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I’m not asking you to be the perfect parent. Your children are human, and in a world where they literally are given the world at even an elementary age, you are going to have to pull up your bootstraps. Sit at their table, participate, sing with them, talk to them, learn with them, instruct them, and be there for them. They will learn everything themselves, but they don’t have to hit the ground to do that.

Active parenting.

-haley.

New shop, and song of the week!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/PHenomenalPHinds

feminism

Feminism; Not Just for Females.

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of online shopping (because what other kind of shopping is so exciting?!) and found a shirt that I immediately made mine. “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” We all know that Haley is a feminist because a long time ago I decided to start playing on my own team. Now before we make this a man-hating session, lets quickly establish what feminism actually is and what all you “Women against feminism” and “feminism haters” have made it.

feminismShirt by Wicked Clothing

Feminism is for everyone; It’s not just a vagina squad yelling about the injustices done to them, and how all of these injustices were committed only by men. Feminism is taking a stand for women’s rights, and realizing that they are people. Your girlfriend? She’s a person. Your mom? She’s a person. Your daughter, sister and nieces? They are people. Just because they don’t have a dick doesn’t mean they should be treated any less. If you agree with that paragraph, then yes you are a feminist. And that word, feminist, something people seem to have tainted; it’s not a bad word. It’s merely summing up where you stand on a hefty issue instead of explaining everything that defines it.

feminism3No, no, no! She’s such a whore for choosing the “easy way out!” Despite how many people cannot have kids because of other dangerous medical reasons…

I read the other day that women not being paid the same, and that “rape culture” is all a myth; It doesn’t exist, and that women are as equal as they believe themselves to be. “Ahh, slavery never existed. Blacks were as free as they believed themselves to be.” Yea, you make yourself sound like an ignorant jackass when you say that, whether you are a man or a woman. Sex slavery, and women being traded into it is still a very real thing. Women not being paid as much is still a very real thing that people continue to prove. Women being put into positions that make them weaker, or sex objects is still a very real thing (cue the Fifty Shades of Shit battle.) Get online, start researching, or just walk outside the fucking door and its easily everywhere. After all this time we are still raising generations to think women do put themselves underneath a man. The only time they belong underneath a man is in a consensual missionary position, of course. It is equally important that not only women believe, but men as well believe and act on the notion that women are equals, and important.

Now the women who just think it’s all about man hating; NO. How else can I put it? Feminism isn’t about hating men, because despite my thoughts on equality I still have awesome men in my life that support me. How can I put it simply; why are you giving any type of damn (outside of the bedroom) what is in anybody’s pants? Men are not all lazy assholes. Yes, a lot are because the world is progressing towards the end. Women are not all psychotic contradicting bitches. Yes, a lot are because the world is progressing towards the end. It’s your job to sort through the shitty pile of people and stop blaming them for whats in their pants.

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I need feminism because first I am a woman, and want to respect myself. Second, I am a young, fertile woman that happens to have a fatal disease with an eighty-five percent mortality rate with woman who become pregnant with this disease. A disease that also does not allow these women to be on birth control because of the risk of blood clots, heart attacks, and strokes that us patients already have. I need feminism because of the massive risk that maybe one day I will get pregnant, not because I’m a careless whore, but because I love someone. Despite the children of mine I want to become a mother to, I will have an abortion so that I may continue to live MY life, because that abortion is my choice. I need feminism so that I may have a safe abortion, free of judgement despite the already ridiculous emotions I might be feeling with that decision. My life is my choice. I choose equality, and freedom.

Feminism is about recognizing that women are people; it’s not a big scary liberal riot like you are making it out to be. We are not your “fuck holes”, sex slaves, BAE, or anything else. We are your equal. We are equals, and we deserve just as much respect. That is feminism, ladies AND gentlemen.

Check out the Contest, and the Song of the Week!!

-haley.

openminded

The Secret to Living a Better Life.

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When having conversations with not only adults lately, but youth as well, my ears were assaulted at how many “I cant’s” and excuses fell out of their mouths. Not only were they limiting themselves, but limiting their life experiences…and it made me die a little inside on what life experiences they choose to miss out on. So many people these days build up “Pinterest Boards” of things to do, see, and make these fake bucket lists. Fake? Yes, fake. Because when it comes down to getting shit done, you make an excuse. We all watch these fabulous travel movies, or “Remember the Titans” and get all inspired to try new things, and be accepting of other races…yet the next day you refuse to go to the “sketch” side of town to have those awesome enchiladas, and you still curl your nose at the thought of someone having different colored skin. This is not only a problem making you adults look like the exact ass you present yourself to be, but you are raising your children to be little asses too; closed-minded ass-like families. “Well that’s a little harsh” – Yea, well I’m a little tired of it.

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You see, life experiences do not come out of routine. Learning, and growth do not develop from comfort, but from pushing the limits. Anthony Bourdain is a huge inspiration to me because he is the living example of this. No, don’t pray to get famous, and be a travel show host, but what is so different about him goes beyond this “food network” image. He is not just trying new dishes, he’s talking to the locals, learning new customs, and genuinely interested in what is going on around him. Because he’s been ran off, and almost died in most countries (and sacrificed those not pleasant experiences) he has had the privilege to see things most would never see in a lifetime, taste things we’ve never heard of, met beautiful people who fight everyday to live a normal life, and in return he is living a truly beautiful life. For all the uptight Christians out there, do you really think this Jesus that you talk about all the time didn’t venture to the other side of town? Do you think he did what he was supposed to do by remaining closed-minded? Your “religion” gives you no excuse.

A beautiful life with one of kind experiences does not happen at a party college. It does not happen throughout your daily routine, and about ninety five percent of the time it doesn’t happen when you are doing what everyone else is doing. Stop raising your children within these mental walls. It happens by stepping outside the red lines that society put up to keep you guarded, and expanding your mind into consistently adapting and loving everything you could possibly learn. Never stop learning. It is a true gift to live the actual meaning of an open-minded individual with a life full of blessings. Yep, you are going to feel like an against the grain loner about seventy percent of the time…and its the most freeing feeling in the world.

-haley.

love is

Love Is…Fading.

Happy Love Day everyone! I’ve decided that’s what I’m calling it for now, because people love to pity party themselves into thinking that if they are single on this day then they are screwed, and have every reason to whine about it. Do you seriously not have anyone else in your life to love? Moving on.

catheartLets just say that I’m highly disturbed by relationships these days. How quickly they form (and fall apart), and now what qualifies as normal behavior when you are bonded to someone. People always ask me, “Why aren’t you dating?” and I really just want to say, “Why would I?” Please show me a person who has some values; I know there must at least be one out there. Until then, I’m not flying through men looking to find him. What will happen should happen organically. Its fun to love other people, and to support them. I can’t tell you how many people I stand back and watch, and think, “Man, I really do love this person.” Sounds a little creepy, but it’s not. And its a lot more satisfying than giving only one person your all, unless they are meant to be that person.

Backing up to relationships; my best friend made a comment the other day of the natural flow of how relationships should progress these days, and I couldn’t believe how much she hit the nail on the head. This natural healthy flow, what it consists of, and what blew my mind is how our generation and economy is teaching us to flip it. People should first connect spiritually (what you believe in, the things that keep you going), then they should connect emotionally (your music, your favorites), and last, did y’all see this, LAST they should connect physically. I’m not saying be a prude, but seriously, wouldn’t this cycle save us all a little? “Man, the sex is great but we just aren’t getting along. I guess I’ll keep dating him for another five years and make it work.” Why am I hearing so much about this?! And why am I seeing it on TV Shows, and movies, and books…its stupidity.

Our children are failing emotionally, spiritually, and physically. We are passing STD’s, having babies (so happy for your blessing – but you know you didn’t plan on it and now they bounce back and forth between a split family, or have no parent at all) and bottom line; they are growing up too fast without ever really feeling what love feels like at all. They are temporarily pleasing themselves because they learn that you should meet someone, hook up with them, and then go from there. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Generations are damaged these days into thinking that dating is stupid, bitches be bitches, single life forever, and blah blah blah because they are not dating right or smart, and they fall in “luuuvv” with people. No, you have never tasted true love.

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I remember my first actual love. We talked for about a month, about stupid little things, and even about family. From there it progressed into music, and then he bought me my first pair of TOMS (how romantic.) We had some of our first kisses while he took care of me for a month because I was deathly ill with Mono (and miraculously never caught it) and we existed like this for years. Talking, kissing, and supporting each other. Yes, it was a successful relationship, and yes, it ended. Not everything that is successful has to last. It taught me a lot of things, and I believe it felt right for a long time, and lasted a long time because the relationship progressed slowly and in the correct order.

In the simplest of words, stop jumping people’s bones and expect a relationship from there. Because you just exposed the deepest parts of yourself (the things that are supposed to be enjoyed after truly knowing each other – like your minds) and now there may never be any connection at all. I’m tired of seeing so many people complain about dating when you don’t even attempt to do it the right way.

Women – stop being man haters, act like a lady, don’t take your clothes off for another two years, stop being overly emotional, stop expecting him to do everything your way, support him, and be real with him.

Men – stop being woman haters, act like a gentlemen, don’t send dick picks, grow some balls to take girls on real dates and ask them out, put down the remote every once in a while, communicate, and be respectful towards her.

Maybe just maybe, we can get things back in the right order. In the meantime, if you are spending your Valentines Day with Netflix that is OKAY. Tell the people in your life how much you love them, buy yourself some damn chocolate, and wait patiently for maybe just maybe, someone who might surprise you one day when you least expect it. Until then, focus on you. Because you, and you are going to be spending a lot of time together.

-haley.

sally

Fifty Shades of Shit.

I’m so tired of hearing that anyone who doesn’t like this book, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is an uptight Christian. Well, I as well as all of my friends can tell you I’m probably the complete opposite. I don’t go to church, I flip people off, I drink, and I’ll just stop there because you should get the point. While we wont get into my Native beliefs about my Creator, we will just focus on the facts and fall out that this book is already in the process of causing. I know what I wont be doing on Valentines Day…excuse me for having a little moral fiber!

Just about every young person my age and older kept stopping me only to say, “You should really read this book!” I was in the middle of reading “Looking for Alaska” by John Green, and when I read what Fifty Shades of Grey was about, I sat it right back down. You see, the further we progress into the future, and the more new ideas that are introduced, we can either open our minds to them or object them. Is this something that we’ve become numb to? So do we just accept it, or is it something that the economy is trying to make us think is okay because we’ve progressed so far? Tattoos for example; this was a hell no thing even in my mother’s era. By the time I was ten, we were planning our future tattoos, and sticking fake ones all over our body. Over the years people have become more accepting of tattoos because of how numb we’ve become to this art, and opened our minds to its beauty when done correctly. Before I put the real ink on my body, I asked myself, “Am I numb to the realities of this, or is this still wrong?” Seeing as how this ancient form of art has been around longer than us, and I really don’t think my creator will hate me over a few words put onto my body, I’m good. But when fifty shades of grey was published, I caught myself again. We make excuses like, “Come on! Its two thousand fifteen!” I don’t give a damn. I will never succumb myself to being weaker than I am for a mans pleasure. Kiss my ass, yea, except don’t touch me at all.

kittyYa never know what Christian may do next!

What cracks me up about this whole thing is we have so many “fake feminists” running around these days. Man-haters, woman power, and they will be the first ones to protest about their maternity leave, and Rape culture that is growing. Yet, all these books are sitting on their shelves? You are a walking, talking, selfish, and loss of power contradiction. You gave money to the rape culture, honey. “Just because I like a sex book doesn’t mean I support rape.” Yes, actually, yes it does when it comes to this book. Psychologists have studied this Christian Grey person calling him the true American Psycho. This woman wrote about a man who controls her every move, stalks her, has her sign contracts, pushes her sexually, physically, mentally and goes so far to the point they have to create a “safe” word when the pain becomes too much? Seriously women? In the simplest of words; Wake the FUCK up. When you have to create “safe” words, I’m guessing whats going on isn’t safe. “How about kneeing you in the nuts, Christian? Oh, was that too far honey? Should’ve used your safe word!” Annatasia is the typical low self-esteem girl who is now being tied up, and fucked, because she was being so “wooed” with stupid materialism, and controlling tactics to make her think that she should accepting of this behavior. She was too dumb to be strong, and form her own opinion; We’ve all been her at one point…and we end up stronger, better off or battered, and dead. Hmmm, now that’s true romance.

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Moving on; this isn’t just about the scary sex. The mental side to this book, what it’s promoting, and what it will do to our future generations? Did we ever stop to think about that? What happens when your impressionable thirteen year old daughter (or son) is digging through Mom’s cabinets (because who else did this when she wasn’t home?) and finds this “fifty shades of grey” pushed towards the back? Now to them, leather, whips, name calling and stalking is love; its romance, its cool. Now your daughter might let the unstable boyfriend beat the shit out of her in bed because she’s “totally into that thing” and it “spices things up.” Or your son might be the one doing that to someone’s daughter. Man, you should feel proud.

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For all of you bored housewives who just invested in this to “spice things up” – you have bigger problems. I believe in a good marriage, and a good sex life on top of that. Sex is about two people being intimate, being together, and exposing not only everything emotionally about themselves but physically about themselves. You need to fix your marriage emotionally if the sex is boring, not go buy chains for the bedroom. You are putting barriers in between you and your partner; he could have this cheap sex with anyone…like the porn stars for example. I’m so glad you lowered yourself to that level. As much as I love American Horror Story, my bedroom will never resemble the set. If this was just for you, and for “your pleasure” then you are in fact a typical selfish human being. I should bound and gag you, and take you to a women’s shelter, and show you the battered women who bought into this new sex culture too, and are now unfortunately paying for it.

Christian Grey is not romantic; he is psychotic. Sadist Masochism and Domination is not romantic; its dangerous and it used to land people in prison (and sometimes still does.) Would you want your daughter being tied up? Would you want your son controlling some other female’s every move? Would you be proud of that? I know that as a human being, and what I have been created to be that I will always be better than this. I will never have to lower my dignity, or power in that bedroom to enable someone else to help both of our “pleasure.” I know that true romance is about loving someone else, and trying new things doesn’t include me (or him) getting hurt. Maybe it involves a change or scenery or lingerie, or how we are connecting emotionally. Yea, that sounds pretty lame doesn’t it? Well, I’m sorry it doesn’t live up to your rape culture bedroom standards. As for me, I’ll stick to my John Green book, because this man seems to comprehend a true understanding of not only the art of writing, but of love too.

alaskaThat looks like true love and romance to me; and someone I’d rather be with.

Stop pouring your money, time and energy into this horribly written book and movie. That is all.

-haley.

kitty70s

Parental Skills, or Lack There Of.

Mondays have the reputation for notoriously being an issue. Seriously, why can’t there ever just be an easy Monday?

After working with parents so much in so many different environments, you come to the realization that they are life savers, or they suck the life right out of you. I cant help but witness a whole new generation of “Defender Dads” and “Monster Moms” rising from the shadows as this very “babied” environment is getting worse. We don’t raise our children these days…we baby them. You know its correct. Why all these attitudes, out of control teens, and kids who don’t want to accomplish anything?! Because you didn’t do your job. No, I’m not a parent, and it sounds like one hell of a mess to raise a kid. You never really know if you did your “job” correctly, I guess, but your behavior certainly influences what theirs will soon become.

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Going to the doctor’s office for our shots was a dreaded trip, but we were given the stern talking to before. “You can bring a stuffed animal, you can shed a tear, and look away from the shot. If you scream, punch, run, or disrespect the nurse in any way, you’re going to need another shot for your pain.” Ohh, that sounds so mean. Um, no, it’s what is right. So many kids these days are crying just standing on the scale, and these aren’t babies…they are five to ten-year olds. Sometimes the nurses are holding down teenagers who are cussing them out…over a shot. Are you kidding me. Where are the parents? Why are they saying, “Its ok!” while grabbing three suckers to get their kid to calm down? Finally, a mom the other day made an office member hold her twelve month old while she held her eight year old son down while he screamed (like a scene from the exorcist) getting a shot. After that? She blistered him, and apologized to the poor nurse. She was not mean, she was not a child abuser; she was right. Finally! A gift from God! A parent who wants her child to not be a child his whole life! A parent who wants a child to still have to take spelling tests in the first grade, so he can actually write an essay one day successfully instead of talking in bingo language. U kno wut i mean tho? You should stop babying your children into thinking this type of behavior is okay. It is okay to fear a needle, or other things in itself; it is not okay to act a fool in attempt to display the fear. NO.

As a child grows, these issues move into other area’s of their life where parents love to step in. Dating, friend circles, and kid organizations. You know exactly what I mean. The kind where the kid cannot stand alone, because its mother or father is up there the next day to raise hell about a wrong doing. There is a time and a place to yell about a wrong doing to your child; when their safety (mentally or physically) is at risk, or actual bullying. I remember lots of girls attacking me in a ballet class because I was granted a solo song entirely of my creation for a recital. I had been dancing a good nine years, competed in Dallas, multiple training and summer seminars, and I was pro by ten years old you could say. I didn’t want to stand out, but I did earn my solo. You would think with my coming home, and yelling at my mom about how awful these girls were treating me that she would run straight to the director, or the moms themselves and tear them in two; You’d think my dad would too? No. They sat back, and they observed. That was my court, I had to choose exactly which move to make, and how to handle myself. It was my problem to deal with. It pissed me off, but looking back I’m glad not to be embarrassed with the rep of one of “those parents.” They taught me to stand me own ground, and to fight by myself. It showed me what an ass I could be, what I screwed up, and it also taught me right from wrong; It taught me how to fight smart.

dropdeadBecause the movie Drop Dead Gorgeous is totally relevant right now.

These days you have those parents that step over their children, who don’t even earn a say anymore. The parents will take care of everything for them, will fight, will bicker, and you’d think they were in high school themselves. They fight children for their own, instead of coming together to provide what is best for the children in general; Monster Moms and Defender Dads. They are up in everyone’s business making sure everyone’s business becomes their own. They are not cool; they are destructive people who take good things to a considerable halt. They are dangerous within our society, and yes, I know you’ve read articles like where the mom killed the head cheerleader so her daughter could have it. These people are mentally insane, but I see the disease spreading like wildfire in a society where children stay children their whole lives; Children raising children.

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Your child will be strong when it learns to fight its own battles, when they come back with scrapes, and bruises society left upon them. It sucks, this gritty world, and despite your overcompensating behavior, you will not protect them instead you will enable them. They will learn what is right by trying it themselves. Raise your children, and step away. Let them grow out of that child when the time is right, because I’m tired of seeing such a society built upon pity.

Thats all. Song of the Week is How Still My Love by the one and only Stevie Nicks. Also, check out the CONTEST and PARTICIPATE. ;)

-haley.

healing

Medicated Lungs and a Healing Heart.

There are two versions of Haley Ann; Calm, forgiving and accepting Haley, or as I like to call the other side of myself, Hurricane Haley. When my insurance company notified me that my copay for the medication that lets me keep breathing is two thousand and three hundred dollars for a ninety day supply, I really thought we were going to have to rebuild the house; Hurricane Haley was an understatement. At this point, I really shouldn’t be shocked. Healthcare is an over rated, over priced and screwed system that is basically unrealistic, but they know they can nail us anyways because healthcare is necessary. If you have insurance, don’t have insurance, Medicaid, whatever…we’re fucked. Lets just admit it.

Asking a twenty-two year old to pay two grand for a medication makes me laugh. Seriously, lets just start designing my headstone now because I refuse to pay that much. Yea, these companies are brilliant for saving my life, they deserve their part, but I also intend to live my life. Not just to devote my life to my medication that also gives me red patches, swelling, and migraines. I have dreams, like living in New Mexico, buying a new car, moving out, and maybe just maybe attaining a college education. But nah, I’ll just devote my life to my medication…no. Yea, I’m mad that the medication I actually have to have is that expensive, and most people were surprised to find out that if I didn’t find some way to pay for it then I didn’t care. “But Haley, this will heal you!” Yea…it makes my lungs feel better; but Adcirca will never heal me, or make me happy.

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As I have sported on my shirt many many many times before, and repeated myself, it’s an act of Mind Over Matter. Despite how many times you want to deny that, its true. Your medication can only go so far, because scientifically it’s programmed to do such. It doesn’t care about your mood that day, your goals, your loves, or dreams. Its pumped into your body, and does its job until another dosage is necessary. My medication improved my life, and yea kinda saved my life, but I had to save my own life with a different kind of healing. My medication was doing the best job it possibly could, and I still wanted to die for a long time, so I refused to take it. See? Your mind is in control. Patients; it really is all in your head. You are not crazy, your disease is not some “illusion” but if you cannot keep yourself emotionally and mentally happy, and at peace your body will not follow. It has to work together.

I got mad about my two thousand dollar copay, and for a moment actually worried. But I know that I heal myself in a completely different way. I know that dancing for my creator, thanking him for the food he provided, the new life, the four winds (ridiculous Texas winds) that he gave us to maintain all four seasons, and the beautiful animals and nature is healing to me. I know he listens to not only the drumming, and the rattling on the dance floor, but my prayers as well thanking him for allowing me to physically do these dances with people I love despite the aching in my body I feel towards the end. Yes, my body hurts, my heart works harder than it should, and my lungs want to cave in; but I am thrilled. I know you all have different ways of feeling spiritually satisfied, and alive; well then act on it, and actually live within it. I am healed spiritually, and will depend on my medication to do its part; but my soul will lead the way.

-haley.

@haleyann92

Song of the Week is Thirteen by Big Star. My heart just needs to process it. Check it out under the tab!

doctors

Six Tips on Being a Prepared Patient.

Sooo, working in a doctor’s office has been interesting to say the least. Well I definitely don’t see myself doing it for very long, there have been a few positive take-aways especially with me being a lifetime patient. Sooo being on the other side of that counter, here are a few tips to make your Doctor appointments go more smoothly.

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1. KNOW YOUR INSURANCE PLAN

“Do you have a copay?” “I don’t know.” “Are you trying to meet a deductible?” “I don’t know.” “Do you know anything?” I cannot stress on how important this is. I was definitely that patient for a long time who didn’t know jack squat about insurance, nor did I care. Then I got a bill in the mail for almost seven hundred dollars…yea. There are so many people who don’t know what they have, or why they have it. Are we supposed to know with our fancy computers? Not exactly, because there are hundreds of different versions of just Blue Cross Blue Shield with a hundred different mailing addresses. Can you imagine all the other insurances? Maybe within getting to know your insurance plan you will find exactly where you might be getting ripped off too. Just a thought.

 

2. BRING YOUR MONEY

Mainly in reference to number one, but seriously. I know you didn’t plan on getting sick, and spending twenty-five or forty dollars. But at least plan on picking up some cash, or bringing your health savings card. After seeing how hard doctors work, yes, they kinda do still need to get paid.

 

3. PHONE ETIQUETTE

The person that picks up the phone is most likely a secretary, receptionist, or an office assistant of some kind. The nurses are in the back with patients, so there is no need to tell them your life medical story of what has been going on the last week. We may seem rude to cut you off, but we need just the basics to hurry up and get your message into the nurse quickly so that she can be the one to listen, and figure out what to do. It’s not that we don’t care, or don’t think it’s an emergency, but we can literally do nothing for you other than hand it over to the nurse.

 

4. SPEAK BIG PEOPLE WORDS

No, we did not all take medical terminology, I get that. But telling me that you have been feeling “blah” tells me absolutely nothing. I need details of what exactly is happening in what area. Yes, its graphic sometimes because it’s the medical field. Can you imagine how a gynecologist feels?

 

5. ASK THE RIGHT PEOPLE THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

If you need to make a list of questions in a spiral notebook for your doctor, I would prefer you do that. Receptionists cannot give any medical advice, so don’t get mad when we don’t answer with anything but, “The nurse will have to tell you that.” We’re not rude, we just don’t want to get sued. Don’t ask a nurse, or Tech a diagnosing related question. Why? Because they have to be a doctor to diagnose you. They aren’t rude, they just don’t want to lose their job. Before I ever knew this I asked my sonogram tech the day I was getting diagnosed what she saw, and what was wrong. She quietly ignored me while answering, “well I’m just getting some pictures of your heart and the doctor will tell you.” I thought it was weird, but she handled it gracefully.

 

6. BE A PATIENT PATIENT

Yep, Doctors don’t always run on time. Not because they stopped for a latte in the morning (maybe they did) but in the meantime, they’ve had stitches come in, a patient had a heart attack, so on and so so forth. Your doctor’s appointment might take two hours, and you should know that risk when going in.

I hope this clears things up a bit on what is really going on behind the scenes of your phone calls, and visits. While it may be a frustrating part of life, doing your part to fix a few bumps in the road will help that greatly. Don’t forget to check out the new CONTEST under the contest tab, and the New SONG OF THE WEEK!

-haley.

 

art

To Remain Uncontained.

As most of you might know, I’m not a college graduate. While I have taken courses, and am always searching for deeper learning for now college just isn’t my thing. Maybe now that I’m finally receiving medication to help with my very unfocused mind, I’ll enjoy it better…but really. I felt no inspiration within those white walls. Taking many “career assessment” tests, my highest personality score was always artistic. Art has become my life, and something I will never choose to, and cannot live without.

art

Art in my opinion is an uncontainable force that works its way through our minds, hearts, and emotions onto a paper, canvas, music or computer. Art for me, and for most people is where we discover our freedom, and ourselves. Then you have people who want to score it, judge it, and overall contain it. Um, no. To me, a human in itself is a masterpiece. Numbers, ages, scores, GPA’s, and titles do not define us, rather than our character does. Those numbers make us feel like shit, and why? Because they try to contain us. Nature, for example, is art; a masterpiece and refuses to be contained. We try to drive upon it without nurturing it, ignore it, cut it down and there she goes. Her waves tower over cities, tree roots burst through concrete, and grass can tower over eventually. Nothing can stop her, nothing can contain her. Art, and anything of creation is not ever meant to be contained.

Yes, I am that person that does not believe in giving grades for an art class. Coming to learn how to craft, or make something is a beautiful idea. But to critique, judge, or grade art is unacceptable. My favorite English teacher who continues to be a popular student favorite was a shining example. I remember seeing so many red marks down my page because I did not (and still do not) know the exact proper use of comma’s, as well as many other grammar errors. It should’ve had something like a fifty stamped across it, but instead it would read ninety five. I would be shocked, but later in a discussion with her she stated that “she saw past the flaws into the true depth, and art of the writing piece.” She continued to be a driving force into why I kept writing, and an inspiration.

So what does all this have to do with college, and containing, and art and blah blah blah? This blog has been my refuge, my art, and my freedom. Within my words I find an essence I cannot succumb to anywhere else, and I don’t look for others to edit them into a way they would like to see my words; they wouldn’t be my words after all. My words, my thoughts, my lovely followers and supporters landed me my beautiful Blue Flame award at the front of my room, and to have one of the best trips of my life. While I welcome more thoughts to have fantastic conversations on the world, problems, people, and beauty, I will never welcome comments that are nothing more than unnecessary critiques. Basically, my blog is not your college essay to grade. Thats all.

-haley.

@haleyann92

warbonnet

The War on Warbonnets.

While scrolling through my Instagram out of boredom, I noticed a local boutique wanting to find a blogger to promote their clothing. Instantly, I thought about reaching out, and just as quickly as I reached excitement, I was reminded that it might feel a tad bit like I was selling my soul. Why? Because the type of clothing they sell. This summer I got the idea that I would walk around Dillard’s, and take photos of any clothing that had Native American designs or inspiration. I got tired after I hit about thirty; that’s a problem. You’re using Thunderbird’s, “Aztec prints” which are really symbols used on our regalia, and after a while you realize you can’t fight everything. But there is one line in fashion that stores, hipsters, and others are continuously crossing…Warbonnets.

warbonnet“Whats that?” It’s that “chief headdress” on your shirt, in your picture, and what cheap replica you’re wearing on your head during a festival. Lets back up a bit, and discuss the exact cause and history on this very controversial, yet continuously ignored topic.

You see, a genocide happened right here in America. You flip open your history textbooks and they present numerous pages on what Hitler did, and to us that’s the only one we really remember. They skim over what they did to the people who were here because they know they’re guilty. I have little to no memory of ever discussing Native Americans in history class. This government was built upon genocide, I mean seriously, they put their effin’ faces on the sacred Black Hills that they stole, and wanted to sell back to us. Um, yea. Mount Rushmore? No. We really did try to get rid of anything in this country that wasn’t white. Don’t get offended if you’re white, you can’t help it, it’s just the facts.You can try to deny that all you want to, but the blood this country tried to build itself on has forever stained the ways of people now; and it’s not all great. Why is Native Culture so small? Because in the simplest terms, it was wiped the heck out.

woundedkneeWhy yes, they are standing over dead Natives.

So after this ignored American Holocaust against Indigenous people, a majority of American people who refuse to learn the culture are all about wearing it? Natives have been dehumanized so much. You take what we wore as spiritual clothing, and turned it into a successful yet cheap design for your boutique? You took a very sacred headdress, one many were denied to wear, and made it a costume? It’s not cool, its not nice, and it shows how much you know; nothing. I hear the people say, “I don’t mean it that way, I just thought it looked cool.” I think warbonnets are beautiful too, but I’m still not allowed to wear one. Our Native ancestors were punished for wearing them…but you get to? Nah. See, those headdresses were earned, just like certain military metals are earned; I don’t just get to wear one because they look cool.

trending

What can you do to help? First things first; stop supporting it. Yes, some of those shirts, and jewelry pieces are super “cute”, but don’t give in to culture appropriation. Second; do your research. Watch a documentary, get online, watch a Pow Wow video and see this culture for yourself. Maybe then when you see that these “Indians” are real, and not a fashion statement, you will gain an understanding. Third; make it known. Put it on Instagram, comment why it’s not cool, share your knowledge. You don’t have to be rude, but you do have to be brave. Lastly, if you love turquoise, moccasins, or beaded jewelry then find a Native Artist and support them. They are the real deal honey, and your every dollar counts.

Bottom line; this culture is not a trend. It’s very real, and I’m tired of fake turquoise, and crazy fake Warbonnets that have nothing to do with war, but only bad fashion. Rise up, and speak out.

Check out the New and first contest in a loooong time under the contest tab!

-haley.